Thoughts on ...

My 5772 Kol Nidre Appeal: Reflect!

2011-10-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the Jewish Year. As I'm posting this, I realize I only blogged through half of our East Coast trip. I started an entry last month about our fortieth wedding anniversary. As I've said before, when I am doing interesting things, I run out of time. When I have time, I don't have interesting things to blog about. This piece was written, so I simply have to cut, paste and fine tune. In the spirit of the High Holy Days, I hope my fans will forgive me. I'd promise to do better but as I heard a speaker say last week, it is better to under-promise and over-deliver. Here for your reading is what I presented just before the Amidah. My friend Elaine leads the inspirational Kol Nidre service and did a lovely introduction, including that we're friends. Picture me in my long white, embroidered dress, with my Tallit draped around my shoulders and a Kippah on my head, standing on stage with about 300 people seated in front of me.

Thank you Elaine!. That is the sweetest introduction I have ever received. Shana Tovah! As Elaine said, I am Esther Heller and I am the Immediate Past President of Keddem Congregation, among other, mostly relevant roles.

Many of you are here with us at Keddem Congregation for the first time, many have been with us before at High Holy Days and there are many regulars. You are all welcome joining with us tonight to form the extended Kehillat Keddem, Keddem community. Judaism as a religion is all about community. We see that most strongly tonight, as Kol Nidre, with it’s beautiful melody and profound meaning, begins our annual communal confession, repentance and atonement. These prayers allow us to move forward as individual people and as a community of people.

The nature of our communal confession causes us to become reflective as individuals and as a community. In order for us to be together next year at this time, as a large community, Keddem Congregation must continue to function as a community throughout the year. So while we treasure those of you who come only for tonight, there is an extra burden on those of us who are active beyond tonight. I invite you to reflect upon how you might share that burden to keep this community strong.

First, reflect on becoming a more connected, official member of Keddem Congregation. There are practical reasons for doing so such as access to our mailing lists or being able to memorialize your deceased family and friends in the Yizkor book from which we worship our service tomorrow. It’s the intangible reasons that I reflect upon. I know that I can reach out to my many Keddem friends who will listen and advise (and actually take my calls or return my emails) or just hug as needed and I readily do the same for them. Community is made up of personal relationships and they matter so much to me.   I know that not everyone gathers people as I do (my husband calls me a people gatherer0 but when you’re ready to reach out, we can be here for you too. The first step is to become a member!

Secondly, reflect on all that we at Keddem Congregation offer through the High Holy Days and beyond. We have our wonderful but part-time rabbi Elisheva and our wonderful but part-time administrative assistant, Myra, who do so much for us all year and I thank them. But the bulk of effort to keep Keddem vibrant falls to our active participants and volunteers. When President Hayley does her thank yous later on, reflect on the list and variety of tasks. They too continue throughout the year.

Quite frankly at the end of Tishrei, some of us are quite worn out. I thank Hayley and Elaine specifically. I know how much of each of you has put into our being here tonight.   As you are reflecting upon the Alcheit, which literally is about missing the mark, or in my mind, intent versus effect, consider forming an intent to do more with Keddem in this new year - as a participant and as a volunteer. We would love to have you and you can start building those community relationships!

Finally, you are probably ahead of me here, reflect upon the financial costs of maintaining a shul throughout the year.   We have been fortunate enough to have a professional consultant provided to us by the Jewish Federation. He’s guided us through setting goals, learning how to make phone calls asking for funds and our approach to these appeals.   According to our consultant and other Fund Development professionals with whom I’ve worked, the larger Jewish community is quite generous. You’ve seen the names on the wall at the other end of this Jewish Community Center courtyard. You’ve seen names you know or recognize as Jewish in museums and on public television. If you know where to look, you’ll even see my name! But as a group, we’re not always as generous is within our own congregations and shuls.

At Keddem Congregation, we’ve always believed in being accessible to all without regard to financial situation. That continues to be a strong value for us as a community. The challenges of being in leadership include supporting the values while staying sound. We set our High Holy Days campaign goal at forty thousand dollars with a recommended donation of five hundred dollars per household. Through donations and pledges received thus far, we are forty-seven per cent of the way there. I thank all of you who have gotten us to this point.

On this night of confessions, I confess I had hoped we’d be further along. It is a stretch goal for us. As we resume our communal confession, repentance and atonement, perhaps each of can consider stretching our intent to a higher level of giving than we have done or planned.   I know that I have and plan to give more than my initial pledge using this very envelope.

I wish you a gentle fast. L’shanah tovah tichatemu! May you and yours be sealed for a good year.

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

ECRT - Day 7: New Jersy and more Manhattan

2011-06-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

Menlo Park, New Jersey

I love the Rain Forest Cafe restaurants. The first one I ever visited was in Chicago - then I found out they are a chain. In the older ones (like San Francisco) , apparently before people complained that they're too scarey, there are roaring leopards as well as the charging elephants and the chest-beating gorillas. Personally, the gorillas freak me out. Of course, that's where we were seated in the one at the Menlo Park Mall. Yes, folks, a mall in Menlo Park, New Jersey. Some of you must know that is where Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. This trip we never did drive by the tower with the giant light bulb atop but the mall is off of infamous Route 1 of the Princeton back-and-forth adventure on day 5.

I collect T-shirts if they have the RFC location on them. The ones here only said New Jersey and weren't that exciting and as I might have mentioned, the suitcases started out full. I totally must recommend the Bourbon Chicken! This mall also had a great sock store, called The Sock Drawer, that had many color choices of my favorite type of socks. I just went on about this in my interlude space, so I'll spare you. We did bop in and out of several stores trying to find a rain hat to go with my new rain jacket but no luck.

Jersey City/Liberty State Park

Today was the day that I suggested to Nick that he pick a place to go in our free time. He seemed to think that I tasked him with doing this. I thought we were doing too much "esther" stuff and not enough "nick" stuff. The weather continues to be, well yucky, but as mentioned, we're done with museums. After some time with our handy-dandy AAA book (a factor in the large suitcase weighing 49.5 lbs back at SFO), Nick started telling me about Liberty State Park, close to Jersey City. I think it's a National Park (and I totally forgot to look for a passport stamp.) It includes a dock and an old, very cool, train station. There are ferries to Ellis and Liberty Islands, where the Statue of Liberty is. Walking around the Park, you can see parts of both islands, although it is a side view of the Statue, blocked somewhat by Ellis Island.

We bopped around a while then headed to the Liberty Science Center for their last movie of the day. They have the worlds largest IMAX theater. The show starts with an explanation of it; it's the same type of setup as planetariums. They did whatever with the lights so you could see all the projectors and sound-systems behind the screen. Very, very cool! Total tangent - anybody remember Cinerama? I guess IMAX is the next generation.

OK, back. We were there to see Hubble. The movie had a lot of footage of visuals from the telescope and info about galaxies and light years and mostly it's out of my head. But I'm sure Nick, the almost-astronomy major remembered a lot. But over half of the movie was about the astronaut mission to do one last set of repairs on the Hubble telescope. What I did pick up on was there wasn't going to be one and one of my favorite US Senators, Barbara Mikulski from Maryland helped make it happen! I've actually supported her reelection a couple of times and am now doubly glad.

The movie included showing the astronauts training to do the repairs and then their travel and then the actual repairs. At one point, something like 39 tiny screws had to be removed, gently, carefully. Two thumbs up! Of course, there were maybe 10 of us watching late on a Thursday afternoon, as compared to the several hundred kids who'd come out before us from Tornado Alley.

Dinner and a Show

The museum was closing and we were due to meet my sisters in Manhattan. Nick had planned to drive to the Secaucus train station and from there take the subway and walk, the usual. But the nice guy at the Liberty Park train station suggested we just go to the Path (more NJ transit) station in near-by Jersey City and assured us there was parking. We thought less driving, good idea. Well, yes, but. We found one garage that was only for the attached building, no street parking and lots which closed at 8pm. Eventually we found our way to Secaucus. Another quick tangent - the whole time, I kept trying to remember who were the Secaucus seven and never did. If I go google it now, I'll never get done.

There were some issues with the train and we waited and called Carol and waited. We only had to go one stop and eventually did and met the twins right on time. Caren had found a somewhat tony place called Brassier 8 and one half. As always, we had a great meal and great conversation. In a fun moment, the four of us shared one dessert. But, we'd let it go a tad too long and had to hustle to the theater where we just made last call.

The musical we saw was The People in the Picture at Studio 54. It was written by Iris Rainer Dart who's written many novels including Beaches (as in the Bette Midler movie.) It takes place, somewhat simultaneously, in 1939-46 Warsaw and 1977 USA, New York maybe, likely? The lead actress Donna Murphy is the link back and forth, playing Raisa in the past and Bubbie (grandma) in the more present. We were told, by Caren who has series tickets to the theater, that it was about three generation of Jewish women. And it was but not what I was expecting. As Carol said at intermission - I didn't know there would be Nazis. I think we all expected the timeline to be later.

It definitely has it's own audience - I was the closest and Nick the furthest from that. If you're into how history affects next generations and get passing references to Molly Picon, you'll probably enjoy this. Since we had to all take off fast afterwards, I didn't get to discuss with my sisters. Nick felt the middle character was slighted. We thought, until we looked up Iris Dart, that it was written by the "granddaughter" but actually Dart's age is that of daughter caught in the middle of several things.

After hugging Caren, Carol, Nick & I headed towards the subway, she to go uptown, us to go downtown. Back to Penn Station, back to Secaucus, back to Route 1 and it's bumps and no U-turns and finally, back to the Comfort Suites.

Coming up: Five states in one day, heading for The Cape.

Esther

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

ECRT - Interlude: Road Trip Ramblings

2011-05-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

Spoiler: I'm sitting at the cutest little powerbar in the Manchester, NH airport. (There are photos, not to worry.) It took me four tries to find the right network and get on it.   Sometime before the sun sets over the Pacific, I will be back in my own house, with my own bathroom, my own bed, my ergonomic (if messy) computer setup and most importantly, my loving cats aka the large evil monsters.

Shopping (contains some spoilers.)

This has been a tricky trip for shopping and therefore gift giving. I think Megan's boys have scored the best, then maybe Shirley & Gary, the catsitters. The trickiness has been a factor of several things - first and foremost luggage space. When we checked in with the new large, lightweight red suitcase, it weighed 49.5 pounds. Just now it weighed 8 pounds less, whew! But the smaller suitcase maybe be up and so are our carryons.   Thankfully, Nick's sister Joanne was pleased to get the AAA tour books for everything south of New England and we left the pound of Ghiradelli chocolate squares with Paula.

But, I did manage to get myself a whole outfit plus. Bought the Nationals shirt in MD - where we also did get the price adjustment of $178 (yay!) on the new suitcase. Got myself a foldup-able backpack, half price with any purchase at the Gettysburg Visitor Center shop. It can also be a totebag and it was great on the soon-to-be told slosh around Jordan Pond. In Media, PA, I got a nice pair of Gloria Vanderbilt black jeans currently on my body. In somewhere in Delaware, I got the fashionable rain jacket.

At the Metropolitan Museum of Art I acquired my favorite purchase, a black T-shirt with a Golden Dragon embroidered down one side and my most useful, a set of three Guitar Hero passport size notebooks. In Menlo Park, NJ, coming up soon, I scored 5 pairs of roll over crew socks to match various T-shirts. You have to go far and wide now to find these and I am known for this matching, esp in shorts weather. Then there's the bears of the fifty states - still no luck in Rhode Island but Ms New Hampshire and Ms Maine will be joining the others on the shelf.

oops - so somehow the netbook turned itself off as I was midsentence. But it was somehow on in Cleveland but no display.. I'm going to sleep and sort it all out in the morning and then finish this post. eah

Sleep has happened. So where was I - rambling about purchases - now have two new hats as well. More on that later. I now speculate that every state has a Route 1 and at least in the northeast it is a bad ride. I have become spoiled by CalTrans maintaining roads out here in California. Either that or the Kia has dreadful shocks. But seriously bumpy here and there.

Real Randomness

I am convinced that I should get a column for SWE out of traveling, including road trips and airport issues and packing and accommodations. Ah yes, I had a rant building up the whole trip about placement and style of toilet paper rolls. I'm sure many of you are aware of the TP orientation debates. I believe in the roll coming down the back for two reasons - first, it's way harder for a cat to unroll one that way (think about the paws on top of the roll that flows off the front). If you don't get that, you've never had to deal with a roll post cat playing! I have been known to reverse them in rooms where I am staying. And, I find it easier to pull off some one-handed which is a value while you are wearing a backpack/purse and have a camera slung over your neck and long sleeves. And/or when you're on crutches (been there, done that three years ago) I also know why we pay the extra money for two ply TP. I think I end up taking more volume (ie greater than twice as many sheets) just trying to get some off and it twists up annoyingly. Hey, if you have the digestive issues that I have, you'd be noticing all this too.

On that cheery note, I shall post this and try working on Day 7. Good thing it's a three-day weekend and I have a bad cold [we both got sick and forged on!] If I can figure out what's going on with the netbook, I'll throw photos up quick. Otherwise, I have to figure out what's going on with the Laptop. I'm on the PC which is my primary computer but the monitor and the CPU don't agree so my aspect ratio is off which is bad for photographs.

a road weary, Esther

ECRT - Days 6: Mostly Manhattan

2011-05-25T20:55:00.000-07:00

Metropolitan Museum of Art

When I called my sister Carol, she suggested that we meet at her favorite place, the Metropolitan Museum of Art. There's an exhibit of work by the late fashion designer Alexander McQueen which she wanted to see. I said, there were two things I had to do in NYC - have a slice of pizza and have a real deli pastrami sandwich. We agreed to meet at the Met around noon - inside or out depended on weather and how Nick & I did with the train and the subway.

I probably haven't mentioned our cute little red Kia Forte that's gotten us up the East Coast. It's worked out well for us, holds both red suitcases and various stuff. I should put up a picture, of course I took them. Also, haven't mentioned traveling with an Orienteer and a computer means that I only have to read the directions and navigate. Nick does all the research, hands me the maps and off we go. Today, he figured out how to get to and from the Rahway train station without making any dreaded U-turns on Route 1. It actually all went quite well. We're seniors on New Jersey transit - between us we figured out how to purchase four one-way tickets to/from Penn Station in Manhattan. It did involve two short street hikes to/from the subway. But even that worked out because we came out next to a pizza place selling plain slices for $1 each. The guy was annoyed when i asked him to split the slice in two (Nick didn't think we needed one each, he later agreed we should have) but was happier when we left a tip.

We found the subway, got our passes, got to the upper east side, found Carol (who is looking good!) and headed to the exhibit. For those who don't know, two things about McQueen: He committed suicide last year and it was his second-in-charge person who designed Kate Middleton's wedding gown. Seeing McQueen's work - often stark, very edgy, I understand why fashion types were expecting something less conservative for the royal wedding. The exhibit is fascinating, My favorite parts were the video chess game played by models in his work and the dress that was finished live with the model/actress standing on a rotating stage while two robot arms sprayed paint at her. She was wearing a sleeveless, very wide dress, which was belted above the chest with a 2" buckle belt. OK, so I was fascinated more by the video and the engineering.

The three of us, Carol, Nick and Esther, entered the exhibit together with a zillion other people. Nick waved to me as he went around the first corner and we didn't see each other for about 30 min. He waited at the inevitable exit-mini-shop. He says I was about 10 min behind him. Carol and I stuck together much longer - but eventually I emerged before she did. From there, we went down to the cafe to have lunch and just visit.

We agreed that everyone got to pick and exhibit. The Guitar Heroes was right by the cafe and of course, I wanted to see it. This was about the makers! Somehow we did it backwards so didn't see the Stradivarius violin and mandolins until the end. There was a well-done video of one of the masters making a guitar. I watched it twice, once with Nick and once with Carol. Nick's choice was to see the armor. That was quite cool as well - diferent times and cultures represented, including for all us Highlander TV fans, Katanas (Japanese Swords.)

And then there was my favorite odd moment. Carol had to make a business call. So we found a quiet place where she could sit. Nick decided this was a good time to check in with his sister Karen (our next destination). So there I was just strolling around checking out various exhibits to my heart's content.

A New York Experience

Jonathan, Carol's son and our youngest nephew, is in New York for 10 days between sessions at college. When he heard we were considering having dinner at one of his favorite places, Arti's Deli, he agreed to meet us. Then Carol reached Francesco, Roberto's brother (both are Caren's sons) and he decided to meet us as well.

But we had to take the cross-town bus to get there. I've only ever taken the bus to the Bronx zoo. We walked two blocks from the museum, with our umbrellas and rain coats and got in line with everyone else. We worked our way on and whoa was it a bouncy ride. I figured out why when I got to sit down - we were in one of the two-part accordian busses. I was actually sitting in the first seat behind the moving part. It's a circular bit of floor that somehow rotates around corners. I couldn't quite figure it all out but was fascinated.

We got off at the corner by Arties just as Jonathan walked up and Francesco hopped out of a cab. The five of us had a great time together - F&J get really funny around each other, and I got my lean pastrami on rye. And then, the time came to go. Hugs all around and Nick and I were off again back to Avenel via Rahway.

A side note: about this point, we were both carrying multiple extra swipe cards - our train tickets, the Metro Passes, our room keys and the parking garage ticket. There's a not positive message in all this - but we won't go there now.

Coming up: Liberty Island, the Hubble telescope and Broadway theater!

Esther

Addendum

At some point when I didn't have computer access, I realized remembered something I wanted to share. For the sake of those who might have already read this post, I'm just adding it on here.

Back at the Museum, it was always understood that before leaving, we would go to the shop. They have an amazing, large shop, full of books and cards and prints and items with the logo or various artwork. The cat items alone could further overflow our overflowing house.

It took Carol and I all of ten seconds to agree to go up to the sales section on the second floor. I had already decided that the only thing that would save this blogging effort was to get a small pad or something on which I could keep jotting down notes. I had also told Carol that when the $60 Guitar Hero messenger bag, $60 was seriously marked down, I might like it. Well, upstairs we found one for $30 but I decided against it. I did find a set of three passport sized notebooks and did get them. It was weird because these items were still full-price elsewhere in the museum (it's large with many shopping opportunities) I also found a fabulous black T-shirt with a dragon embroidered down one-side marked down. Very classy! With Carol's discount, even better.

When I opened the notebooks - it turns out one is lined, one is blank and one is music staved. I'm happily making notes in the lined one. Angela, my soprano and music teacher gets the music. The sketch is up for grabs. Did I mention they all have a photo of a hand-made guitar on them?

Nick and I had one final thought on this day - we are totally museumed out!

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

ECRT - Day 5: Travel Day, New Jersey

2011-05-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

Note: In real time, it is day 12. First Nick and then I have come down with colds. We're at our final destination and start heading home tomorrow. I hope to do some writing at an airport and finish up at home. If anybody is really interested, bug me on Saturday.

On the Move Again

We didn't have far to go today, so we visited longer with Paula. Again the weather is drippy and iffy but we all braved it to take a walk around Fox Hollow Farm. There's a lovely trail along the outer border and Paula told us all about the various volunteer work done to maintain it. She's about the only woman to do this work, so she knows lots of the men. She's also on the welcome committee and it seems like she knows everyone.
It was election day in Pennsylvania, and the community building hosted the local precinct. As we first went in, people wanted us to vote. When Paula said she was giving us a tour, people got all excited and wanted us to move there!

Eventually, we had to hit the road. Don't think I've mentioned the ubiquitous Canada geese. We saw a big flock with fuzzy goslings somewhere in Delaware County. Couldn't stop for photographs, bummer. But for the next several days, we're seeing small groups of them here and there! We've got huge flocks in Menlo Park at Bayfront Park (aka Liz's park because she made an orienteering map for her Silver Award project.) I'm wondering if it's climate change that's making them all be around (per Paula in Penna, and us in Calif) year round.

Our drive took us into and out of Delaware (the state, not the county.) I spotted my favorite store - yes Target. So we pulled in to restock on Milano's and a couple of other things before heading out. Not expecting much, after Kohl's, we went and looked at jackets. I actually found a nice light weight rain jacket. Couldn't get my size (sigh) in the slenderizing black or navy, so got the fashionable off-white, not quite tan. Picture a short, belted trench coat - yes, I know a contradiction. Cross check the photographs - the concept is good, I'm simply too round. another sigh. Apparently, I'm building a full outfit, suitable for nice dinner.

A Treasure in New Jersey

Back to Paula for a minute - she is amazingly organized. As we discussed our route for the day, she whipped out a folder with places to go. She raved about Grounds for Sculpture and she was right! It is in Hamilton, NJ about half way between Philly and Manhattan. It has 250 sculptures, looking randomly placed, but not so, over 35 acres. We were hungry by the time we got there and started with lunch in their cafe. We were far from seeing everything when we left. We wanted to check in at our hotel before our next stop for dinner. In retrospect, we should have spent the back-and-forth time there. Before I explain that, more on the sculptures. They have life size people here and there in the style of one of the French Painters (I want to say Monet or Serrat). They have lot of modern works. There's one area with five tiger sculptures. We spent a lot of time by one that is really a giant percussion instrument with sticks that one can use to play it. I could have used my musician friend Carol who has perfect pitch. But we had fun. Pictures to follow, I hope.

Catching up the the Hellers

Some months ago, I promised my sister Carol that I'd come to New York and we could play. Since we have a rental car and cars in Manhattan problematic, Nick suggested that we stay in New Jersey and take the train in. More about that on Day 6. Our nephew Roberto and his girlfriend Cara live in Princeton. It's around now that Nick & I start hating Route 1 in New Jersey. The Comfort Suites are in Avenel which is near Rahway which has a train station.

So, we go to Avenel and check in. It takes forever because Nick's credit card company has decided that there's been too much activity on the card. Nice to know they're alert but really. Then we go back down to Princeton. The deal with Route 1 is you can't make left turns. You have to make rights to do U's to do lefts. It's a good concept not as well executed as it might - at least not near the Comfort Suites. It also has lots of lights. We got stuck in traffic going back down to Princeton.

Eventually, we found our way to Roberto and Cara. He is our eldest nephew; it's our first time meeting her but she's dealing well with the small but mighty clan. We all had a wonderful time catching up, getting to know each other, eating, taking silly photographs. Much too soon, we had to be back on Hwy 1 well fed and well-loved.

Coming up: Manhattan and more of the Heller family

Esther

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

ECRT - Day 4: Delaware County and Philadelphia

2011-05-22T20:04:00.000-07:00

Old Stomping Grounds - Sort Of

Last night (in blog time), we determined that we would meet Lynn (college friend/roommate) and her niece Erica at the Gallery at 8th an Market in Philadelphia. The original plan was to drive from Glen Mills to Media and take the train to Penn Station and walk from there. Nick did a lot of online research and he and Paula figured out there was unlikely to be any parking for either the train or the trolley (different stations). So we drove through Upper Darby to Terminal Square.

Personal History Tangent

While I was at Temple and Nick was working for ConRail, we lived at Barclay Square - in Upper Darby, along the trolley line. Nick took the train from the Lansdowne station to work and I walked to Terminal Square to take the subway/elevated known as Septa (south east pennsylvania transit authority.) You'll have to google that one for yourselves! Technically septa also runs the trolley. And I think that's enough of this nonsense. One of the coolest things about Upper Darby was Issac Asimov once came and spoke at a school within walking distance. That's when I realized just how much his writing must have influenced my thinking cause it all made total sense. He said, among other things, that as we all live longer and more functionally, we will have multiple careers in our lives. And here I am, switching again, in my early sixties.

Back on Track (pun intended)

When we got to the station, the main parking lot was full - which was too bad because it had a nice machine that takes credit cards. We parked in the overflow metered lot which took only quarters. A short walk and tokens from Paula and we were on our way into Philly. It was interesting to see how much they've renovated the stations and actually the cars themselves. No where near as old, dark and rattly as I remember - although the worst part was on the Broad St line which we didn't take.

When we got out at 8th and Market, there was no sign of the Gallery. As is my custom, I bought one of the street newspapers for a dollar. They have them in San Francisco. It's a way for street people to make some money without actually just panhandling. I find them mildly interesting to read. So as he was thanking me, I asked where the Gallery was. We walked to 9th and found Lynn and Erica.

They live in South Jersey and also drove to parking and took public transit. Lynn comes in enough to know her way around. The plan was to have lunch and "do something" but we'd never really nailed down either lunch place or what something was. We checked out a couple of places that were too noisy and busy to have a good conversation. Eventually, Nick spotted a bakery/cafe of the sort that we love. Since the last time we saw Erica she was something like two, it was more like making a new friend. She's another of our many young acquaintances who is involved in performing arts - she as a costumer and back-stage worker. Didn't get to talk with Lynn as much -I think we three old folks wanted to spare Erica the whole "remember when" thing.

We did go to Liberty Place where I found a Fire & Ice store. The one in Baltimore is where I bought the matching necklace and earrings that I wore at Liz & James' wedding. OK, so I bought another pair of elegant earrings there. But this time, I resisted the BoGo! Liberty Place is an office complex with shops on the first two floors. In the downstairs rotunda, they had this great exhibit of structures made out of canned goods. It was a very clever food drive. Each entry was from a different business or company. There was a kitchen with sink, a variation on Rodin's Thinker (I think he may have been in canned peas) and, of course The Liberty Bell. I've got lots of pictures, but just put up on Facebook the bell with my three companions.

Somewhere in all my slides and prints and now files, there are pictures of Nick & Lynn in various places - like in front of a wooden Indian in Texas and possibly including some of the replica liberty bells around the country. I have located and photographed bells in Boston (the first I found), Honolulu, Raleigh, NC, Denver and Juneau.   We skipped the original one this trip but did tell Erica about the time they moved it on New year's eve of 1976, in the rain, and her father was there to see it. The rest of us watched on TV. I'm very fond of Liberty Bells.

After some more wandering around - it's just cool being back in Philly, if only for an afternoon, we all hugged and parted ways.

A Small Shopping Spree

Nick had promised me that if we had time, we could stop at the Kohl's near Granite Run Mall (either in or near Media - the county seat.)   We've been carrying an umbrella a lot on this trip, with the prime directive of "keep the camera dry." We have our winter parkas in our suitcases for the end of this trip [where we're heading tomorrow in real, not blogging, time - more later.] I have a gap in my wardrobe, even at home - I don't have anything resembling a warmer weather, nice looking rain coat. So, I wanted to find something for the warmer climes. Bizarrely, there was absolutely no outer wear at this Kohl's. But they did have my favorite jeans on sale [and I could use a nice newer pair for last destination] and I was still carrying my special 30% off coupon. We finally got through the checkout line and back to Paula's with about a 30min rest period.

Opera, Italian Food and Friends

While I wasn't at Temple U's math department long, I did grow close to a few people. Every time we're back this way, my friend Bob tries to get them together. This time several were out of town but Paula came with us to see Bob, his wife Pat and our other friend Gary.   This time Bob had made a reservation at Fellini's Cafe Trattoria.

Monday is Opera night. Our waitress, Jessica and a waiter took turns singing about every 25 minutes. I know she did something from La Boheme and he sang "O Sole Mio" and they did a duet at the end. We all chatted a lot inbetween and the food was great! Paula took all of our leftovers and had pastas for three more meals!

And again, amidst the rain, we all hugged and parted company.   This is the hard part of this trip. We're seeing people for the first time in a while and then having to leave again so soon!

Esther

Coming up: Family!

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

ECRT - Day 3: Travel Day, MD to Penna

2011-05-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

Road Trip Begins - Full of History

Since we only had to go from one state to another and the Hilton has a late checkout time, we actually slept in. Eventually, we packed up the two red suitcases and the two tote bags and Nick's backpack and headed on up the highway for Pennsylvania. Prophetically, we did note when we crossed the Mason-Dixon Line.

Back when I was on the Girl Scout Council Board of Directors, I became friends with Rosalie. Nick was on the Diversity Committee when she chaired it and they became friends as well. Some years ago, she and her husband Roger left the Bay Area and moved first to Baltimore and then to Gettysburg. I had been to the battlefield a zillion years ago with my family and wanted to see it again. So, that was our next stop!

We went first to see Rosalie and Roger who served us a lovely lunch on the patio of their big ole farmhouse. They graciously let me use their wireless internet to dig up friend Paula's phone number whih wasn't in my phone. More later on Paula. Rosalie also pointed out the mother robin nesting and feeding babies in one roof corner. Attempts at photographs were made. We stayed there about two hours and then headed for the Gettysburg Visitor's Center.

The Battle of Gettysburg

Roger said we "had" to see the Cyclorama and he was right! For those who aren't going to follow the link, when you get to the Visitor's Center, you have two options. You can wander around and look at the exhibits or you can do that and for a small fee see the movie narrated by Morgan Freeman and then go up to the Cyclorama. Don't worry, I'll get there. But first a word about Morgan Freeman - I love him, ever since the Electric Company (which dates back to PBS and Sesame Street days). The movie was very good discussing the Civil War, slavery, economics, the South, setting the context for the battle (and the speech!) It made it clear why doing the right thing was so challenging for so many. It was very thoughtful and sad at the same time. Certain sixty-somethings teared up.

After the movie ends, one goes up the stairs. While Roger had explained it was a large circular painted mural which covers the whole battle, I wasn't really prepared for it. You really should follow my link for more! There's a recording which is played detailing the battle and various lighting changes highlighting spots on the mural. Very dramatic.

After this, we took our map and started heading for Cemetery Ridge, the point of view of the painting. Alas, the threatening rain decided to become a deluge just as we got there. It was also getting late and we had more travel to do, now in the deluge. I hope we can go back another time but who knows.

Familiar Turf

Next destination, Glen Mills, in Delaware County, PA. Long ago, and currently not so far away, I ended up spending almost four years in graduate school at Temple University. The flunking out there-of is a story for another time. But in that time, we made some good friends. It was when and where Nick became a Girl Scout Leader (I'd already done so in Palo Alto, Ca.) We learned the basics of Senior Girl Scout program from a pair of trainers known as Nellie and Deluc. Deluc is really Paula and we have stayed in touch and when any of us are near each other we hang out.

Paula now lives with her cat Misty in an "active adult community" called Fox Hollow Farm. We were to have dinner there so we pressed on through the rain. As we were going, we kept reading names of cities and towns that we'd known about and forgotten. Eventually, the rain eased up and we arrived at an almost reasonable hour. We had a great dinner, talking about old times, new times, what we're all up to, etc.

The only downside was she doesn't have wireless and we don't have cables to plug in the netbook. I'd hoped to do some catching up for you loyal readers in that window and didn't. And so it goes!

Coming next - Philly!!

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

East Coast Road Trip - Day 2: Washington, DC area

2011-05-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

Lion Cubs, Sumatran Tigers and Giant Pandas, oh my!

The day started with driving to the Smithsonian National Zoo which Nick now says was a tactical mistake. We didn't know how timing would work with the drive vs taking the Metro and getting back in time to change for the wedding. We did find parking and it did start us at the right end of the zoo, namely by the big cats.

The National Zoo is built on a hill - the main entrance is at the top on Conneticut Ave and the parking is at the bottom. I actually prefer starting by going uphill and then finishing by going down. So we started hiking up and came pretty fast to the big cats. They're in a nice round area that is subdivided into three habitats. Each habitat is laid out in tiers resulting in lots of ways for the cats to leap and bound and sun and not-sun. We came first to one of the Sumatran Tigers and then the other. We have Sumatrans at the San Franciscan zoo - they are the smallest of the tigers. Ever since we had our tabby cat Leela, I've realized that sumatran females remind me of her. I've gotten quite good at identifiying the females vs males of most tigers this way - from the face and then confirming when they walk away, tails held high. [I will spare you my rant about the typical zoo visitor referring to each and every animal as "he."] I did learn from a long chat with a volunteer - the female here is the mother of the male.

Finally we got to the third enclosure. I had thought there was one lion and one lioness and they had five cubs. I was wrong! One lion and two lionesses AND seven wonderful, adorable - one litter was born in Sept and the other in October - cubs! Did I mention, adorable? Still had spots on the legs, the males just barely starting to get their manes. I took many pictures. I was having odd exposure issues in manual - which I sorted out several days later [I'll get to that.] Eventually, I agreed to see other animals.

We learned during the baseball game that Ken and James lived within walking distance of the zoo. So, we made a plan to meet for lunch. Nick & i worked our way uphill to one eating area near the pandas. First Ken and then James showed up - after confusion about which spot we were at - there's a Panda Terrace and a Panda Cafe and by now I've forgotten (I'm still a week behind here, sorry) which was which AND they came in the main entrance.

We had a good conversation at lunch. Ken works for CQ reports covering the Supreme Court. Turns out he also worked on Al Gore's presidential campaign (both from Tennessee and at Harvard together.) I want to recommend Ken's blog. He is very articulate and insightful and honestly, it's the only one I semi-regularly read. You can find him at Jost on Justice. I learned more about James' work - which in a different market, is similar to Nick's.

After eating, we all slogged up the hill (in their case back) to see the two pandas. Walking with James, who is from Taiwan, I learned that Chinese government charges a zoo one million dollars a year to have a resident panda. He pointed out the peonies in the panda's enclosures,and said it was appropriate. Peonies are considered the royalty of flowers by the Chinese and that's why they appear in so much artwork.

By then, it was time to head back to Silver Spring to change, so we all said goodbye. I convinced Nick that I had to check in on my cubs on the way back down and we did. Then we hustled to the parking lot, remember, downhill at the end is better.   Unfortunately, we got misplaced when Nick thought he'd found a shortcut. We sorted it out but really had to hustle at the hotel but made our next destination with a tiny bit of room to spare.

Here come the Brides!

The prime reason for this crazy trip was to attend the wedding of another troop 757 alumna, Christina, to her soul mate Meigh. It was held at the Woodlawn Manor in Sandy Spring, Md. We had not yet met Meigh but had seen their save-the-date video and knew they shared a silly sense of humor and a lot of creativity.

Because they're both women, they had to have a civil ceremony earlier in D.C to be legal. What they had at Woodlawn was a beautiful handfasting ceremony presided over by a pagan minister. Christina's brothers were her bridesmen. We knew them and her parents from the troop days. Meigh had three bridesmaids. The color scheme was a deep shade of burgundy.   We've been dealing with rain the entire trip but like good Girl Scouts, they were prepared with a lovely white tent which had windows.

Each had written her own vows. There was some loveliness and some silliness and one bride cried a lot during the vows. This was followed by a ring exchange. C & M had made a series of cords in different colors. As the minister draped each one around their arms (hands held) she asked questions starting with "do you promise to ..." And of course, the response was "we do." At least once, we all were asked to support them and heartily said "we do" After draping all cords in a complex manner, which Christine later told me they forgot to practice, the minister did an overhand knot joining first one set of ends and then the other. When the young women let go hands and pulled their arms out - the entire middle was also joined! It was quite cool.

The reception was great fun. First we went from the tent to the historical house for drinks and appetizers. When we went back down to the tent, the tables had been set up. Christina is from California, of course, and Meigh is from North Carolina. They had two sets of entrees, salads and vegetables - one set was califorinia cuisine and the other north carlolina. There were also mini-ramekins of mac and cheese that fit the occassion and the weather! Each table was served family style and that led to good conversation. Even the rain didn't spoil a thing!

Coming next: the road trip begins as we go to Pennsylvania!

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

East Coast Road Trip - photos

2011-05-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Can be found here.

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

East Coast RoadTrip - Days 0 and 1: SFO-BWI

2011-05-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

Prologue to Esther & Nick's East Coast Road Trip

This has been an bumper year for us being invited to weddings of the legandary Girl Scout Troop 757 alumnae. First Jessica married Timi in February in Foster City. Then I officiated at Liz and James' Wedding in April in San Gregorio. That's the ceremony in my previous entry. Now Christina is marrying Meigh in Silver Spring, Maryland. Since the opportunity was there, Nick and I decided to make a vacation of it, see some family and friends and some sites. I'm actually typing on day 6. In decades gone by, I used to say if I had time to do cool things, I didn't have money. If I had money, I didn't have time. Now it seems, if I have something cool to write about here, I have the time. But if I have the time, I don't seem to have anything fun to write about. I'm hoping my faithful followers will hang in while I catch up.

Day 0 - Leaving on a Jet Plane

On Thursday, we said good bye to Denali and Borealis and promised to return and headed on up 101 to SFO. At the United Terminal, there was an art exhibit which seems to be turning into a recurring theme: items made out of recycled materials. Even then I laughed at how many Girl Scout Badge or Interest Projects have the requirement - make an object out of old whatever. In this case, there were baskets made from used telephone wires, duck decoys out of milk cartoons and lawn chairs from plastic bags. Someday, I have to do something with all the photographs.

Our flight to Baltimore-Washington was pretty uneventful - watched two movies, Reds (with Morgan Freeman and Helen Mirren stealing scenes) and something dumbish title out of my head by now. We arrived about 11:45 a few minutes late. Got our luggage and took the shuttle to the Thrifty rental booth at 12:20and made friends with a guy just in from Perth. Seriously, we were almost BFFs by the time the rental agent got to him. Let's just say, Thrifty isn's Swifty. We left the airport at 1:20 am. We were in our room at the Silver Spring Hilton at 2:15am, a little late to connect with anyone.

Day 1
The Smithsonian is Huge!

Not so bright nor early on Friday, we took care of a few necessities at the nearest Target. Some of you may know about that I always carry a package of Pepperidge Farm Milanos for emergencies. Somehow I didn't have any and... I needed a special wardrobe item. Found it at the nearby Champs store. Back to the hotel to change and off we hiked 3.5 blockes down Coldsville Rd to the Metro Station. This was the first of drizzly (or worse) days. We tootled on into DC to meet Val, someone I know through the Reconstructionist movement, for lunch at the National Gallery. These building also houses the Smithsonian American Art Museum and used the be the Patent Offices. The cafeteria seating is inside/outside. It's a covered courtyard which still has the facades of the old building. It was quite nice. We chatted and got to know each other better.

Val guided us around the museum through several areas - including, that theme - art from recycled materials. Most notable to me was the driftwood horse. A favorite work, not recycled, was a neon map of the United States. Each state contained TV sets showing video relevant to the state. Alaska had whales and moose. South Dakota had George McGovern. I had way more fun in the portrait galleries than expected, cause I recognized so many subjects. We parted ways with Val in the shop and amazingly, I bought nothing.

We had some spare time before our next reunion/adventure, so we took Val's advice and headed down towards the National Mall and found the Hirshorn Sculpture Garden. I was having a great time photographing things like the giant typewriter eraser and a variation on Shelob (Lord of the Rings reference) and the Caulder horse (oh forgot to mention the Caulder exhibit - sketches and wire artworks of people) and the dancing waters fountain when the fountain turned off and the ducks settled in. Then a guard hustled us all out cause it was closing time.

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

We hiked on down again to the Metro heading towards our next destination - Nationals Baseball Stadium where I was totally appropriately dressed in my new Nationals T-shirt (see above Target bit). A bit of back story. At Nick's 40th Harvard reunion on the first day's luncheon, we sat down at an empty table and waited to see who joined us. Short version - a classmate named Ken, whom Nick didn't know before came over with his partner, James. James and I started laughing about being the non-classmates - it's like a title at Harvard reunions. On the next night's dinner, we all caught up with each other again and James and Ken and I had a great diversity discussion and are just all crazy about each other. Ken and I have kept touch via facebook. He's as big a baseball fan as we are. He's from Tennessee but his first team is the St Louis Cardinals - whom we hate because of a few World Series issues, mostly, 1967.

As American Leaguers (Red Sox, Athletics), we could easily cheer for the Nationals. So we let Ken know we were coming and he got us all great tickets. We got there first and OMG, I love that ballpark. You walk in and have this great view looking out over the park from left field. The concessions are on a spacious promenade and everyone working there is friendly - like really nice and helpful and friendly. Americorps was even giving away rally flags which are proving quite useful on this trip.

James doen's like baseball so came later, mostly to see us and became our iPhone guy. See, we were following the Cards playing the Cincy Reds and the Red Sox playing the Yankees as well as the game in front of us, the visiting Marlins. It was a great game - with the lead changing and being tied up a few times. I think James was startled to have not one but three maniacs jumping up and screaming at good plays. Ken loved the company and Nick & I love baseball. The game ran 11 innings, long enough to start following Oakland vs the White Sox. Sadly the Nationals lost 6-5 but the Red Sox began the first of the three game sweep!

And now I must head for sleep. I'd tell you about tomorrow but that would be spoilers. Instead,
Preview for Day 2, Saturday, May 14 (my half-birthday) - starts with Lions, Tigers, Bears and ends with two gorgeous brides.

Esther

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

Celebration of Marriage of Elizabeth Butterfield and James Walters

2011-05-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

On April 30, 2011, it was my honor and privilege to perform the wedding of two of my friends. California has this concept where an individual can be deputized to perform marriages on one specific day. Some counties say only one day; San Mateo allows many. There were no other takers. This is the script from which we worked. Some of it was a group effort, my comments were my own.

Opening Remarks

   Welcome dear family and friends of Elizabeth and James.

   Perhaps like me, you have stood in a similar spot and are now thinking about that moment in time. At that moment, as at this one for James and Elizabeth, everything was possible. The challenges that arose before now are set aside, and those coming don’t matter yet. If you’ve not had this moment in time, perhaps you’ve had another where everything was possible. In either case, please hold that thought for this couple now.

    Elizabeth and James - turn and look at these friends and family. They’re here to share this special moment of yours. It is filled with joy and everything is possible. Take a mental photograph as their remembered joy merges with their joy for you. This is what community is about and that is why you have brought us all here together today.

    We must acknowledge Elizabeth’s parents John and Maryanne and James’ parents Linda and Edward. They have brought their children together at this moment in honor of the love and support that both families have for them as a couple.

About Liz and James

           Face each other (and me) again.

    I first met Liz when in the seventh grade, she joined our Girl Scout Troop.   She was already a young woman who knew her mind and could speak it. We early on realized she and I are kindred souls.

    Several years later, James’ name started going by. I met him when he interviewed me for a history term paper. What’s not to like about a young man who considers you of historical significance? Then he came to one of our troop alumnae gatherings, the first of the significant others to do so, and he fit right in.

    I’ve spent time with them together and with each separately. It is so obvious to me that these two were made for each other and are very good for each other. And now ... here we are making it all official.

About Marriage

   When the two you asked me to be here with you for this ceremony, I started thinking about what wisdom I could share with you, based in part on my forty years with my husband Nick (who helped with this part).

    Here it is: Marriage is a partnership. Today, you two are saying before witnesses “this is the person that I plan to spend the rest of my life with, to be my best self with and to give my best to.”   Remember always, you are partners, you are are confidants, you are lovers, you are best friends. Be as honest with each other as you can and continue trusting and relying on each other.

    Some cliches are true - never go to sleep angry with each other. Don’t be afraid to say “I love you” often - with feeling. Always show each other respect, especially in front of others. But you don’t have to lose your identities in the marriage either. There will be uneven times, when one of you needs more than the other. That’s part of the deal too! Life will throw challenges and difficulties at you. You’ll get through them by facing them together.

    A marriage is so much more than the two people in it. As each of you grows, so the marriage will grow; as the marriage grows, each of you will. This partnership, this joining, of James and Elizabeth will allow you to do things in life that you haven’t yet imagined. It will take you places you haven’t yet dreamed. It is a wonderful thing you’re doing today and I am honored and blessed to be part of it.

Song

     It is my pleasure to introduce Angela Harrington, a friend of Elizabeth and James, who offers a gift of song.

                        Angela sings "I Cross My Heart" by George Strait

Thank you, Angela!

Vows

Elizabeth and James have written their own vows.

Elizabeth:

    I, Elizabeth, take you James, to be my husband, I promise to live with you, to trust you and to cherish you. I will love you when we are apart as well as when we are together. I will love you in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. I will work with you toward our common goals and share our leisure joyfully.

    I love you because you believe in me and your belief helps me achieve more than I ever could otherwise.

    Love demands respect but not obedience. Love requires loyalty without subservience. I promise to respect you as my equal and be loyal to you in every way.

    Today is the beginning of the rest of my life. I choose to spend it, and all of my tomorrows, with you.

James:

    I, James, take you Elizabeth to be my wife. I promise to love, cherish and respect you. I promise to work with you in partnership in building our life together. I promise to love you when times are good and when times are hard. I promise to do all I can to make our life together a happy one.

    I love you because no matter how dark the day has been, knowing you will be there when I get home makes the day brighter.

   Today is the beginning of the rest of my life. I choose to spend it, and all of my tomorrows, with you.

Ring Ceremony

Esther: James, place and hold the ring on Elizabeth’s finger and repeat after me.

James: With this ring... I wed you..., for today, ... tomorrow ... and for all the years to come. ... Please wear it ... as a sign of my love ... and a notice to all the world ... that you have chosen me ... to be your husband.

Esther: Elizabeth, place and hold the ring on Jame’s finger and repeat after me.

Elizabeth:   With this ring,... I wed you ... for today, ... tomorrow ... and for all the years to come. ... Please wear it ... as a sign of my love ... and a notice to all the world ... that you have chosen me ... to be your wife.

Pronouncement

You have taken your vows, made your promises to each other and exchanged your rings. Because it is clear that you will have a strong and loving marriage, I say the following with love and joy:
   By virtue of the authority vested in me ... as (deputy) commissioner of marriages of the County of San Mateo, ... State of California, ... I now pronounce you husband and wife.

After the recessional, there will be a pause in the festivities for certain formalities. We invite you to go to the hall and enjoy some refreshments while you wait.

   I now present James and Elizabeth Walters, a legally married couple.

---------------------------------------------------

© 2011 Esther A. Heller

Thoughts on ... Image

2011-03-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to write a column this week. I write best from what I know and lately I'm feeling burnt out on a lot of things so that's likely the topic. The column below was actually written in November of 2009 but wasn't published until a year later. As the only column from 2010, it became, by default, the back side of our annual mailing The Gilbert Gazette. Since we finally, last week, got all of them mailed, I'm posting it here. I would promise to be more diligent about blogging but I'm dealing with the burnout. If/when that column gets published, I will repost here. EAH

Last year, I gave myself a birthday present by attending Nikon Photography School. I learned or relearned about a variety of topics including lighting, angles and how to fix or improve the images I shoot without losing their authenticity. After two days of viewing and discussing beautiful images, I went into overload and my mind moved toward the more abstract idea of images.

The fact is, I like being behind the camera much better than being in front of it. For one thing, I have artistic tendencies but no drawing or painting skills. Photography engages both sides of my brain and I’m pretty good at it. The other reason is I hate most photographs taken of me. What I look like in them is not consistent with how I believe I look. It may be an illusion on my part, but I don’t want it broken.

We all have self-images, based on a variety of influences. I’m always saying that we are products of our experiences and so are self-images. I don’t have experience with computer and on-line games, but I suspect that for some an avatar reflects either a self-image, reflecting believed strengths, or the opposite, an opportunity to make up for perceived weaknesses or failings.

Moving back to reality, there’s the physical image that one has in one’s mind’s eye which can be confirmed or denied by the image in the mirror. My mental image is actually a remembered photograph taken when I was in graduate school. I am walking along in the rain, in the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park, my purse is slung back, my hands shoved in my raincoat pockets, a confident smile on my face and yes, a twinkle in my eye. I’m older now, but sometimes that optimistic, energetic young woman smiles back at me in the mirror and it’s a good day!

Cameras don’t always capture how others see us. And others don’t always see us the way we think they do or more importantly, the way we want them to. What clothes we wear, how we shake hands, how we walk and the way we talk, all of these are part of the images that we project to others. I often tell people that self-introductions, including those going-around-the room in a big group, are very important first impressions. Standing up, speaking clearly and saying your full name, projects confidence and capability. Speaking softly can be interpreted as shyness or insecurity. Say too little and you make little impression, or worse are considered boring. Talk for too long and you give a bad impression, such as being considered rude for not respecting everyone else’s time.

Word choices affect your image as well. They can impact people’s judgement of your intelligence and honesty. I heard a woman researcher speak about her findings on the use of cursing. It was a well-done study using actors reading scripts, some with, some without “bad” language. The listeners thought less of those who cursed, especially the women. Speaking of women, I never use “girl” for anyone over 18 and certainly not for myself. I think and speak of myself as a “woman” not a “lady.” Unlike “girl” or “lady”, “woman” conveys strength, experience, and an ability to deal with tough situations. That’s part of my self- image and one that I want to people to have of me.

This brings me to purple hair. I’ve been sporting it for three years and plan on keeping it. Purple represents many things. It’s a symbol of royalty. It’s a symbol of diversity. Having it in my hair is a risk. Some people have disapproved but I’ve noticed, more than ever, strangers are comfortable talking with me. People remember me, even when I’m quiet. My shade is deliberately deep and rich. It goes with the confident smile and the twinkle in the eye.

Well, what about you? What’s your image? How do people see you? How do you see yourself? Do you want to change your image? My advice is simple - be real and be realistic. It’s too easy to lose ourselves in others’ ideals. So, whatever you do, maintain your authenticity!

All rights reserved.
Contact the author prior to reproduction.
First published in Connections, Dec 2010
newsletter of the Santa Clara Valley Section of the Society of Women Engineers.

ES - Day 6: Bodie, Mono Lake

2010-10-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

"Goodby God, I'm Going to Bodie"

Well, we got up relatively early, ate our Cheerios and walked up the street to the Mono Lake Committee's headquarters, store. So far so good. Did a bit of shopping (map, gifts, stuff) which entitled me to free membership in the committee and a travel mug. We sat and watched their slide show to get a sense of the Lake and the history and headed back down to our motel.

Things went a bit wrong. This was the day to switch lenses. The feared left one turned out fine but the right one was off. Turns out it was inside out - happens a lot with the soft ones and I thought that was the case. Then we discovered my cool black and gold hat was missing. After semi-frantically searching luggage and car, we concluded that it stayed in Bishop - probably during the fast room move (see Day 3, part 2). Phone calls will happen soon. Then I misplaced my lens cap - that happens a lot, it was in the car. Then we discovered my sunglasses were missing. I hiked up to where I'd taken pictures and as I was coming down, Nick found it under the stairs at the motel. Must have popped out of my pack. sigh.

Eventually, we started driving to Bodie. Bodie is an old mining community of the late 1800s which was abandoned and is now kept in a state of "arrested decay" for historical reasons. It grew because they found gold there. It was apparently full of terrible people - they should probably make a TV show about it - deaths, usually violent every day.   Deadwood comes to mind. The quote above was from the diary of a girl whose family was moving there.

Now it's just a quite place in the middle of sage brush between the mountains. There's 9 miles of paved road followed by 3 of unpaved. Dusty, not quite as bad as the road to the Patriarch's Grove in Bristle Cone. On the way up, we passed a couple of herds of sheep complete with shepherds and sheep dogs. We passed them on the way back down and one herd also had a donkey. Beats me!

We wandered around taking pictures of this building and that. I find that my photography, like my blogging, goes back and forth between creativity (artsy shots, cute commentary) and attempts at journalism. After a couple of hours, I told Nick that I was at the point of "if you've seen five of these buildings, you've seen them all." There were really dilapidated houses and not so bad houses; there were businesses - in the heyday 65 saloons; there were public buildings - post office moved from someone's house to a hotel; there were outhouses. Near the top of the hill were the mining structures but we weren't allowed into all that. As a former engineer, I found that more interesting and nowhere near enough info in the brochure.

Off we headed, back down towards Mono Lake.

Birds of a Feather

Mono Lake has a northern approach and a southern one. The really nice visitor center is at the northern one. We got there about 20 before it closed so had time to look around. Asked the ranger about sunset. She showed us something that said 5:22 which was a surprise to us - I had thought 6ish. She suggested going to the Southern Tufas for sunset.

Here's the story - once again LA and their water is the villian. In the forties, water was deflected from the tributaries to Mono (by the way pronounce Moe-Noe, not Mohn-noe). The lake was nearly drained over the next several decades. Then, about the time we came to California, people started campaigning to save and restore it. As the water level dropped, these cool calcium formations, called tufas emerged. Also a land bridge, which allowed coyotes to get to the island nests of the California gulls. We could argue that gulls are problematic, but not here and now. There's some neat info about shrimp and alkaline water and alkaline flies. Now that I'm a member, I can point you at the Mono Lake Committee website for more details.

We got down to the lake by 5:15 and started hiking around and taking pictures. As the sun slowly set in the west, we photographers all started convening in similar places. I found one guy who'd been there a lot and kind of followed him around. As the sun was fully set, around 6:15, there were a bunch of us at a tip, looking out at the color on the eastern hills. Mostly there was chitchatting, but I was underexposing 2 full stops and got some nice color behind big tufas in the lake. And then, my battery died. Argh. I charged it before we left and a couple of days ago. I may need to get a new one. sigh.

A Pleasant Surprise

Well we packed up and headed to where everyone kept telling us we should eat, theWhoa Nellie Deli. Basically the Mobile Station on the opposite end of Lee Vining has a big convenience store. In the store, is a deli style restaurant. Having been raised on the east coast and jewish, I only have one thing to say - if there's no corned beef or pastrami, it's not a deli!   But they had a nice bison meatloaf which Nick had and a nice bison braised ribs which I got. So much food again, that we have part of tomorrow's lunch.

The best part was when we walked in, there was my old photography teacher (the only one I've had, actually), Charlie. We had known that he was somewhere in the area teaching a class with John Sexton. Turns out John is the analogy guy and Charlie is the digital guy. Charlie's going to be giving a digital printing class and guess who's going to find a way to take it!

Go to Charles Cramer to see his work. If you've seen the photo of trees in my living room, that's a Cramer.

Goodnight, all! Love
Esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller

ES - Day 5: Bishop to Lee Vining

2010-10-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

The Devil Made Me Do It!

I am now a day behind in blogging. This has come about for a couple of reasons - I tend to fall behind in things and I convinced Nick to upload some of his pictures to Facebook. Two people sharing a computer on vacation can get a tad tricky. Good thing we like each other.

Yesterday, which might have been Tuesday, we packed up and checked out of the Comfort Inn in Bishop. We had an odd conversation with Dave, the manager who promised to get Nick some extra points for the double lockout incidents. Eventually we took off up 395.

This was our take it easier day. We went to the Devil's Postpile National Monument. Just before paying our fee, we stopped at Minaret Vista and had a fun lunch looking out over the valley at the cliffs. Lunch was shipwreck - left overs from the past three dinners. We've had fridges in each of our rooms and things held up well. After taking a bunch of photos - I love my graduated neutral density filter. I'm learning how to position it so the sky and mountains get less exposure while the foliage gets more. A lot easier than burning and dodging in software. I used to know how to do this in the lab but not yet digitally.

We packed up from lunch and headed on down the road, paved, yay!! From the parking lot, there's a relatively easy half mile walk down to the monument. When you get there, you look up over all these rocks to see something that looks like a giant made a fence using huge rock posts. The formation evolved by a combination first of volcanic lava and second glaciers coming in eons later. I'm bugging Nick to get this much. If you're curious, there's a ton of info at the Devil's Postpile website. In a rare occurrence, Nick said we didn't have to hike up to the top but I decided we should. The initial steps were tough but once we got the top, you could see that each post really was hexagonally shaped. Nick went and explored up the trail a bit more while I was photographing. I had one moment of watching my footing and realizing if I went over the edge, Nick wouldn't know where to look for me. But I was fine and we decided to finish the loop. Easier walking and we saw smaller formations. Nick named one the Reaper's Postpile. We also walked through an area where the wildfires had hit a few years back and saw new trees growing.

From there, we pretty much just drove on to Lee Vining and checked into our current hotel which is at the edge of town. Being at the edge of town is easy, it's a short town. Population is only three digits - I haven't been able to read the sign.

Coming up Bodie!

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

ES - Day 4: Bishop, Bristle Cone Pines; Marcia

2010-10-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

In Search of Ancient Gnarly

Turns out my good friend Marcia isn't a morning person either. So we picked her up at 10ish for our big adventure today.

We started out by going to the Mountain Light Gallery. It celebrates the work and lives of Galen and Barbara Rowell. Galen was this amazing photographer who specialized in light and mountains and everything. We spent a hour looking at photographs and books and calendars and more. After some purchases and feeling overwhelmed by the beauty of the photographs and trying to learn lessons, we headed across the street to pick up lunches at the deli.

And then, off we went to start the long, uphill drive into the White Mountains. That's where one finds the Ancient Bristle Cone Pine Forest. While the giant sequoias at Yosemite are large and quite old, the bristle cone pines are smaller but really, really old.

Here's my lesson of the day - If you're going to go hiking with an orienteer and a person who built a hiking trail on your own property, be sure a) they love you and b) they want to take a lot of pictures too! Otherwise, they might just have left me behind especially on the ups in high altitude. Oh, and they don't get into imaginary answers to questions like "what's that shiny area down there" - two votes for something scientific, one for baseball diamond. OK, so maybe they were right.

We did three hikes. First was the half mile, Pinyan Nature Trail. Pinyan is a type of pine - we saw many different pines. On this hike we learned that Marcia really could live off of the land if she had to! She had us trying pine nuts fresh from a pine cone (not the bristle pines). A few words about Marcia. I met her the one year I was in the Women in Engineering program at UC Davis. She had a bachelor's in math (as did I) but her masters is in zoology. Often, when I'm hiking with Nick, I say "I wonder what this plant is. I'll take a picture and try to remember to show it to Marcia. She'll know." Well, when she's there - she knows.   She's also a bit nuts! In a different way from my nuts - she had a signal and GPS on her phone and some ap to tell us how long since we started hiking, how much time we'd been moving and how much not.

This little hike took us about an hour, yeah, I'm slow. We drove more to an overview and tromped out to the point. Nick was great and went back for my new filter. As I was shooting with it (to get the foreground more exposed) a young couple came along and the guy was intrigued. Eventually, I took a great picture of them with their little point & shoot camera.

Back in the car, going up and up. Get to the Ranger center (a trailer but with books, patches and the passport stamp. I use my little all-purpose notebook to get the stamps.) We had lunch there. Marcia lured in a golden mantled ground squirrel with one of the nasturtiums from her salad.   I had the telephoto out already. See facebook pics.

Our hiking choices, did I mention we were at 10,000 ft, were the one mile Discovery Trail or the 4.5 mile Methuselah trail. Survival won over seeing the oldest living things on the planet. We did see their slightly younger cousins. We saw the remains of a 3600 or something like that tree that died in the sixteen hundreds.
Because of the conditions, wind, weather, snow, high altitude, the trees lose branches and bark and grow very twisted. The word for the day was gnarly. Marcia and I went crazy taking pictures. Actually, Nick got into it too. Not just to rest but because the trees are just amazing - the area where bark is gone is an almost bright yellow.   The little trail took us about two hours. Almost forgot, something, maybe a red tail hawk, flew over us at one point but too fast to photograph.

Back down to the car and off for the Patriarchs grove. This is where the largest bristle cone pine is. It's 12 miles away and the road is dirt, sometimes tight (not as bad as the other day's North Lake, but close.) Less traveled. Oh, and snow in a couple of patches. But it was open and off we were going. and going and going. I was beginning to think this was totally not worth it when I caught a glimpse of motion up ahead at the side of the road. Then Nick saw it and stopped. Then the coyote crossed the road in front of us, marked some territory (as I'm scrambling to switch lenses. She then crossed in front of us and trotted parallel to us and waited. Wildlife photographer's dream come true.

Eventually, we got to the Patriarch - took the 1/4 mile nature hike - misplaced the trail in the snow a few times - the duo convinced me that the canine tracks were domestic, what with going exactly where we were. And we started feeling a few drops of water.   Back in the car and back the 12 miles to the main road (really off to the side of a side road, but you know.)   Had a stopped truck driver point out a herd of deer on a hillside. Oh, and it did rain on us coming down but twas ok. Watched a bit of sunset and got back down to Bishop to find that, once again, our room keys didn't work. This time, the card magic worked and we got in. Met Marcia shortly thereafter for a lovely Japanese dinner, very tired.

Once again, Nick is our hero for driving in these conditions.

Going to bed now. Really need to catch up with sleep. Short amount about Devil's Postpile tomorrow, I hope, before we head for Bodie.

Love,

Esther

ps, this link should get you to photos:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=234881&id=585316093&l=37fc7ab538

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

ES - Day 3, Part 1 of 2: North Lake, Manzanar, Alabama Hills

2010-10-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

In Search of Fall Color

Nick says, let's go find some fall color and after asking a few people where to look, we turned right at the traffic light and went up and up and up.   I wouldn't say our marriage was in jeopardy, but I was mighty skeptical after we cleared the town limits and the only plants anywhere in sight was sagebrush.

Eventually, we start seeing some trees and Nick starts feeling vindicated. The road has, of course, gotten more narrow and more twisty. There begin to be lots of cars by the road. Hikers, you may think. Well, not really - it's photographers season. At one bend in the road, there's a zillion cars and a bridge over a bubbling stream. The bridge is packed with photographers. So we keep driving. At one overview, I noticed a sign that said "North Lake." We were heading for lake Sabrina. We stopped further along and did take some pictures over the river of the aspen. We went along the main road a while and decided to turn around and head back. I suggested we check out the North Lake road. Now, silly me, I was thinking, lake, amenities, something. Guess I've driven around Tahoe too much. Yes, I know, much bigger, more developed and thus less dense with photographers. Here, you had to compose pictures carefully to not have one or more tripods in them. My tripod was back in the room.

Off we headed up and up and up and around and around and oh yes, it's now a dirt, one lane road. Nick has a thing about heights, he doesn't like them. He gets the hero award for that drive - the outside of the road is up direction.   He was actually better off since I'm ok looking out over the edge. But, eventually, after passing too many cars and largish pickup trucks, we came to a clearing with a latrine and parking. We drove past it to catch the lay of the land and sure enough a small lake. Went back and parked. The lake was beautiful - the fall color, especially the aspens, the clear reflections, the background of mountains. Photos were taken, by us, by people with tripods, by people with small children.

I forgot to mention - this was our "shorts" day. Weather was 72 per the car when we headed up the hill. According to the car it was 48 while we out taking pictures. It probably was, but oddly, it felt good. Eventually, we headed back down, agreeing that the twisty, turny, narrow, North Lake road was worth it.

We headed down 395 and had a nice lunch in Big Pine Passed through Independence, formerly like 150 years ago, as Little Pine and on down to Manzanar.

Manzanar

Nick and I have both heard a lot about Manzanar. It's hard to live in the Bay Area and not know about how dreadfully our military leaders decided they could treat US citizens. As the exhibit implies, some people think the Constitution is great except when they want something.

The first thing that struck me was how stark the surroundings are. Beautiful but stark. The Eastern Sierras on one side, the White Mountains on the other, with sagebrush of Owens Valley in the middle. The original auditorium building is now the visitors center. We were both somber driving in and walking in. Teared up reading the exhibits and while watching the well-produced 22 min video.

A few words about Ronald Reagan. I vaguely remember him hosting the 20 Mule Team Borax TV western show [name escapes me.] I never voted for him, I actively disliked all that I saw or read about his wife. Two good things from my point of view. He was allegedly the only Type B POTUS in our time. And on the Manzanar video, he was my hero for the way he signed the bill officially apologizing and giving survivors some reparations. Too late for most, but needed closure.

As I walked around, I continued to be tearing up (as was Nick). I nearly broke down reading the roster of internees, posted as a giant scroll. I looked for and saw last names that I personally knew (including one Murai).   The experience was similar to my reactions at the Birmingham Civil Rights Center and the Washington, DC Viet Nam memorial. And there were exhibits about other acts of prejudice and hate. And I thought about the debate over the proposed Muslim Community Center in Lower Manhattan. I'm tired of hate and fear and how it brings out the dark side of our populace. I found myself quoting Pete Seeger "when will we ever learn."

We drove the self-guided tour of the whole site. Stopped and walked the bases at the playing field. I put a rock that i picked up outside at the cemetery memorial, among the other rocks and pennies and cranes. Thought about all my cats at the pet cemetery. Wrung out emotionally, we headed to the next stop on Nick's tour of Pines.

Alabama Hills

Apparently, our latest thing is to go where they made movies and TV shows. First Vasquez Rocks, now Movie Row. You get there by turning right off of 395 in Lone Pine, crossing the Aqueduct, going up the hill, past the replacement Lone Pine. Turn right again, following a guide book we got from a park ranger station. The rock formations are amazing. We saw where Roy Rogers made his first movie and (not sure exactly of the spot but we saw it) where John Wayne made his last video, a commercial. Took lots of pictures; followed the slight detour to Murphy Ranch Road. 12 miles or so and eventually came back.

Two last comments. In the last Alaska trip, we had to go to the zoo to find moose. Well, we watched and watched back up 395 - for elk, it was the right time of day, but no luck. Actually we've seen very little non-human life forms. There's still time.

When Nick was a child, they lived down Cape Cod during the summer. There was a highway running nearby to Provincetown, Highway 6. Well, guess where the other end is. Yes, here in Bishop. And that's why the last photos I took yesterday are of him and a highway sign. Posted on my facebook page.

It's now Columbus Day and we're off in search, with Marcia, of ancient bristle cone pines. A single destination day.

Love
Esther

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

ES - Day 3, Part 2 of 2: Evening in Bishop

2010-10-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

How things go Amuck!

You're wondering why part 2 is first. Cause it's so stupid that I want to get it out of the way and if you come in late, you'll read part one first.

We had a lovely day - read all about it in part one. We came back to Bishop to meet up with my dear friend Marcia so we can all go to Ancient Bristle Cone Pine Forrest (who named it that? I have to keep asking Nick what the name is) in the morning. The plan was she'd call us about an hour out to work out dinner timing.

We get back to our room at the Comfort Inn and the keys don't work. Now we've had that problem before, only when we had two (or more) sequential reservations because that's the only way they can book a room free on points. Nick goes back down [we're on the second floor almost the furthest room from the lobby, we're both too tired to haul stuff up and down any more.] Roger does the desk clerk magic on the keys. Nick returns. They don't work. Nick goes back to lobby, comes back with Roger and housekeeping and master keys.

Meanwhile, I hear the phone in the room ringing. This is mysterious as only a few people have the number. I'm also checking my cell for calls from Marcia - concerned about her long drive from Applegate.

Roger tries all keys - nothing works. He shares that this room had a problem last week. I observe that there really is a spot for a metal, old fashioned key. Roger leaves. I call Marcia. Well turns out, she was the one calling. She left her hotel and walked to ours.

Roger comes back with key ring and pass keys for a new room for us, cause by now we all know it's bad. His master key (apparently expired) doesn't work in the new room but the keys for us do. We plop down, he goes back to old room. None of the metal keys work. Marcia comes, we sit in new room. Our stuff is still in old room, including Nick's cell phone which he'd forgotten in the am. Marcia has a new phone. NOT in it is my phone number but she had Nick's on a message I'd sent. So, you get it right? I'm waiting for her to call but she only has the hotel and Nick's phone numbers - both inside the still locked room. sigh

Roger returns with the now awakened manager Dave. I go down the hall to parlay. Dave has this whizzy electronic calculator looking like widget with a big metal passkey probe on it. He kits the calculator number keys - lights flicker. Roger tries some key - doesn't work. Discussion of phoning Jesus ensues - he lives two blocks away. I mention we'd like to eat dinner. Roger offers to move our stuff when the room is finally opened. Nick & I decline (we'd unpacked, had stuff in drawers, shelves, closet, fridge). Go back to new room. Phone rings! Dave has the room open.

Oh, he did, by breaking in through and cracking the window! And apparently the metal key broke off in the mechanical lock. Not a good evening for Dave. No sign of Jesus. Nick, Marcia and I move stuff in record time leading Dave to ask if we're in the hotel business.

An hour after we should have, the three of us went off for quite yummy pizza at The Upper Crust!

Will now let Nick use the mini for a while before I tackle part 1 and/or photos.

eah

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

Eastern Sierra - Day 2: Yosemite to Bishop

2010-10-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

Yosemite!

My friends know that I'm just not a morning person. We keep saying that we'll go to bed early and get up early and go off early and somehow it never works.

We got off earlier today than yesterday, that's saying something but at this moment, I'm so tired (and Nick is napping and it's 11pm, go figure) that I don't remember when. Ah, but the camera knows, wait a sec...........
Took a picture of Nick loading the car at 10:38am. Took a picture of officially entering Yosemite (while there was a long line of cars to get in at 11:16am. I apparently took another 200 pictures before getting to Bishop (where we are right now!).   Oh hey, Nick's awake. This will be short since he wants to check email too.

Why are we both so tired? We took two hikes in high altitude. The first was down to see the Giant Sequoias in Tuolomne Grove. It's just a mile - downhill the whole way. We also did the 1/2 mile nature loop at the grove. And then, the long slog backup hill. We took a short granola bar break and several photo breaks and smiled and chatted more pleasantly with the people coming down than those coming up had when we were coming down. One woman (she up, we down) actually said "it wasn't worth it!") I disagree, trees which are thousands of years old - you know? Gives you a sense of your real place in the universe.

We found a pace at which I could keep moving without losing my breath. Slow and steady. My best bit of detective work - there were no markers or landmarks for a sense of distance - was when a young woman came by eating a Popsicle. I said to Nick - it's 75% eaten, she had to have pulled it out of a freezer in the parking lot - she was moving at a decent clip - how far did she come? We decided we had 10-15 more minutes. Then we passed the berries that I'd photographed early on and voila - the parking lot!

Our plan was to eat lunch at Tenaya Lake. We had the leftovers from last night's dinner. We hadn't been sure we had decent plastic knives so cut everything up before putting in the to-go boxes. A good idea! But, while we've mastered leaving before noon, we still haven't gotten to lunch before 3pm. Maybe tomorrow.

Part of the challenge is the slow hiking, part is the need to stop and take photos. One reason I take so many is I bracket my shots [what the camera thinks, one step more than camera thinks, one step less] In general, the best shots are the ones one stop underexposed. Back in film days, the rule was overexpose print film and underexpose slide to get greater detail and richer colors. Digital appears to be like slides.

Of course we had to stop at the outlook at Olmsted Point to see (among other things) Halfdome. then we found the picnic area by Tenaya Lake. I nearly froze from the wind coming down off. After lunch, We got to Tuolomne Meadows. How to describe it - one long, vast wide meadow surrounded by gorgeous mountains, some with snow. The amazing part is it is all at 8000 ft elevation! We walked to Soda Springs - only one half mile but, did I mention 8000 ft and that we're both senior citizens in many places?

Eventually back at the car, we worked our way out of the park by about 5pm. Showed our receipt and said goodbye to the nice rangers at the gate. Since that was at Tioga Pass, Nick announced "now we're in the Eastern Sierras" Then we made the drive down - the steep, curvy, drive down. Stopped a couple of times, esp when we could get out and make snowballs. Gorgeous, just gorgeous all the way down. We stopped for a couple of minutes to check out the famous Mobil Station in Lee Vining - home of the Whoa Nellie Deli. We expect to eat there later on. On the way down to Bishop, saw beautiful color on the mountains. We hadn't considered that sunset would be earlier on this side of the mountains (you know, the
east, so mountains are blocking it, etc.).

I have semifigured out how to do pictures here. I have to upload to Picassa which has limited storage. I don't want to deal with that, so you're going to have to look on Facebook.   I'm still sorting out how I review them here on the Netbook. I don't like that the editing actually changes the original on my disk. like messing with a negative. so cropping, lighting improvements, etc isn't happening.

I've tried following a tip I found in the Blog help area, so comments might work - who knows. I managed to post one, so maybe it's not my blog specifically. sigh

Tomorrow Independence and Manzanar - I plan to pack tissues.

Esther

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

Eastern Sierra - Day 1: Menlo Park to Buck Meadows

2010-10-08T23:36:00.000-07:00

Nick & I got up, packed, said goodbye to Borealis and Denali and were out the door by 11am. Zipped across the Bay, no problemo, had a leisure lunch in Livermore and made it up to Murphys in time to taste at three different wineries.

Oh wait! That was the plan. Reality is much more challenging. There were emails to send off, a conference call to attend - a new chair, it was only fair that I be on for a while and most importantly, a run to my optometrist for replacement left lens. It's partially a photo expedition, I really need to be able to see.

A short tangential rant - I've been wearing extended wear soft contact lenses for 40, yes kids 40, years. I'd get a pair and they'd be good for an entire YEAR! A year ago, my eye doc talks me into disposables, better for the aging eyes. First batch, no problem. Second batch - first left lens uncomfortable whenever I look up,
like driving.   Try another from the batch - comfy enough but tolerance on prescription off.   Month passes, try the third one; same as the first. Not optimistic about the remaining three. Hence today's last minute trip to Dr Chin. Well he didn't have any spares and says "how about the daily ones?" DAILY - like a new lens every day. He claims I can wear them for a week.   I went home and packed three right- and nine left-eye contact lenses so I can see when I go to Bodie. Conspicuous consumerism is winning.

Eventually, we left around 1ish, as in after, not before noon. Made it across the Bay ok. Before going to bed (don't ask! but it did involve remembering that I had a column due at 10pm) I had discovered that my new 4Mb camera disk wasn't working.   Apparently my camera chokes on SDHC cards - got an obscure message [flashing CHR or something]. So, the plan was to pick one up at the Target in Union City. Target doesn't carry SanDisk! At this point, we're pushing 3 hours late, I'm hungry/cranky and worried about e-film. Like I wanted Kodak and they were offering me unknown.

Next, we get stuck in traffic - on 238 as expected (but not bad) and then a lot on 580. Eventually, I spotted a Staples off the highway in Tracy. Turns out there's a Golden Corral in the same parking lot! Turns out we were so late for lunch we got the early bird dinner special. Things are starting to look up - at least our blood sugar was. Talked to a nice guy in Staples about SD vs SDHC (for High Capacity).   It's bad enough that James, Liz's fiance who is our go-to computer guy, tells me my 2000 computer is old. [c'mon where does that put me? oh never mind!] Now I have a nice but random stranger telling me that my 2006 camera is old. Let us consider that both really work well - it's the creeping elegance and consumerism that are doing us in!

The nice man convinced me that he uses PNY and it's just as good as SanDisk and I have 14 days to return it (yes in Menlo Park if need be) if I'm unhappy.   So far so good.

Well fed and having camera issue resolved, we worked our way up the road. Made it to the only winery that is open till 5:30 at 5pm. Twisted Oak has a twisted sense of humor - the road up is twisted and there are signs, ala Wall Drug, at each turn, including rubber chicken crossing. They have a fricken out in front - ah, did I forgot to mention this is Calavaras county as in Mark Twain short stories? If I could figure out how to post pictures in this blog, I would up load it here - from the PNY disk.

Twisted Oak also has some fine wines. Amanda served us and after others left chatted with us for about 45 min. We then worked our way back towards Groveland (I remember it as Grover the muppet) and Buck Meadow where I now sit. Nice dinner at the Buck Meadow's restaurant with leftovers for lunch tomorrow. More, I hope, after we visit Yosemite, the northern part.

Esther

ps, at some point on the drive, Nick shared with me a lot of highway numbers - more when the appropriate photo is taken.

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

My 5771 Kol Nidre Appeal

2010-09-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

Yom Kippur is when we look back at our sins and deal with guilt. Actually, it's quite cool. But as a blogger, I've been feeling guilty. When I'm doing interesting things, I don't have time to blog. When I have time, I don't have much to say that I think you'll think is interesting. This year, I gave the appeal at the Keddem Congregation Kol Nidre services. Picture me in my long white, embroidered dress on stage with about 400 people seated in front of me.

Thank you Elaine. Shana Tovah. As Elaine said, I am the Immediate Past President of Keddem Congregation.

In my other role, as High Holy Days chair, I’ve been reading the reservation forms as they’ve come in and know many of you are new to Keddem Congregation, to you I say welcome. I know many of you have been with us, some many times before, at HHD: welcome back. And to the active regulars, I’ve probably hugged you on the way in, or will do so on the way out. I’m big on hugs.*

Since it’s Kol Nidre and this is a Jewish congregation, I know I can be honest. My goal is always diplomatic not blunt honesty, but let’s face it, I know that most of you know why I’m standing here.   I know that appeals make some of you uncomfortable and that some of you understand why it is necessary.

When I was a child, our family’s synagogue handled this very differently. My father as “head of household” (I'm sure my mother had something to say about that!) was handed a card with his name and tabs with numbers on them. He was to indicate his commitment to the synagogue by folding down the appropriate tab. Far less disruptive to the service, but I remember how embarrassed he was about how little he could pledge. So, hold that thought while I give you some context for why I am talking to you now.

Seven years ago, at Kol Nidre, I talked about how I had, now ten years ago, decided to finally join a congregation and how I was drawn to Keddem by the values listed on the website. It is www.keddem.org, for those who have not seen it. Thanks to the work of our Long Range Planning committee and the participants at our May congregational meeting, we have revised our Vision, Mission and Values, in what I consider to be a very Reconstructionist manner - study, discussion, considering what is right for us as Jews here and now and deciding via a democratic process.

The Vision, Mission and Values define what we want to be as a community. Many of us have Hebrew names. Ours is Kehillat Keddem, Keddem Community. Community is only as strong as its members. It is built up by members trusting, and respecting one another as individuals and recognizing each other’s contributions. As a member of this community, I’ve seen us celebrate with each other and mourn with each other and very much care for each other. Because Keddem is Inclusive and Egalitarian, any one of you in this room is more than welcome to become a member. We are also Inquiring at Keddem and one of the benefits of membership is being able to ask questions about Jews, Judaism and the Jewish experience and find answers in discussions with other members. It’s what our Torah Study and Learners’ Minyan are all about.

Communities thrive when the work is shared cooperatively through teamwork. They need a diverse range of skills and yes, even opinions. We are Participatory at Keddem - we do it all for ourselves. Do you realize that our services at these High Holy Days are led by three technology professionals, a professional artist and a professional rabbi? Our song-leaders are an accountant, a program manager, and a high school student. And in case you’re curious, our chair is an engineer turned diversity consultant now studying to be a Parliamentarian (I'm a little crazy.) Our colorful wordle logo, which you can see on the screen in the lobby, was designed by one member, colorized by a second member and had the Hebrew added by a third. You get the picture. We function best when many people volunteer to help by bringing food to events, setting up or taking down, writing publicity, even editing our newsletter.

Just as importantly, we would love to see you more often than once a year! If you find yourself drawn to the liturgy or the music or the ideas, you should come to Shabbat services or festival celebrations. We’ll welcome you equally warmly and more personally.   And if you have a new idea and are willing to take the lead, we’ll support you. Because we are Innovative.

Now, think back to my father awkwardly having to make a financial commitment before being able to leave services. You’ll notice that you’ve all been given generic envelopes to take home and decide later. None have names, some have numbers, we're recycling to save trees and the budget.

At Keddem Congregation, we believe strongly that money should not be a factor in being part of our community, either when joining or when attending these or other services or activities.   But, the reality is we have expenses, for tonight and for the rest of the year. I love this community and I want us to be able to keep offering these services. Last year, in the spirit of Innovation, several of us challenged others to pledge one thousand dollars each, with the understanding that if we reached ten yeses, we would all make the donation. I’m pleased to say that in the end, Keddem received seventeen such donations. (smattering of applause occurred.) Hopefully, most of us can recommit at that level and that others will join us. Meanwhile, we are asking those attending for a contribution of 500 dollars per household. Since we are Compassionate, we know that many of you, like my father all those years ago, cannot stretch to that level.   If your budget does not allow that much, we will gratefully and graciously accept what you are able to give.

Thank you all for what you have done in the past for Keddem and for what you will do in the future for Keddem. You are most welcome to continue to worship and build community with us here at Keddem Congregation.

I wish you a gentle fast. L’shanah tovah tichatemu. May you and yours be sealed for a good year.

* a lot of people actually did stop by for hugs on the way out, including some strangers!
The words in bold are the Keddem defining values.

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

Women Engineers: Change in the World

2010-07-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

On June 19, I was the keynote speaker for the Society of Women Engineers - Santa Clara Valley (SWE-SCV) Member Appreciation and Scholarship Banquet. It is the fourth time in 15 years that I've had that honor. Below are my (slightly editied) prepared remarks; what I actually said is (as always) quite close but more humorous. eah

Thank you Kathryn for that wonderful introduction. And thank you also for all of the work you have done organizing the scholarship process and today’s event.

Congratulations to Erin and Joy (the scholarship recipients present). You have your future ahead of you and we at SWE are thrilled to be playing a part in it. I know there are SWE sections at both Santa Clara university and MIT.

US Dept of Labor tells us that a nontraditional occupation for women is one in which women are 25 percent or less of total employment; these occupations span all major occupational areas. They tend to be well paying. Examples: architects, computer programmers, computer software and hardware engineers, detectives, chefs, barbers, clergy, engineers, computer and office machine repairers, construction occupations including inspectors, railroad conductors, truck drivers, fire fighters, aircraft pilots.

What does it all mean? Some are occupations perceived as needing more physical strength or like engineering have roots in the military; some girls don’t think of then as possibilities, most likely because they don’t see role models. On the good news front, jobs that were nontraditional for women in 1988 which were no longer nontraditional for women in 2008 include chemists; physicians; lawyers; athletes; postal service mail carriers; bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers; and butchers. That last one fascinated me.

What slightly surprised me, I rather expected (or hoped for) higher numbers, are Computer Programmers, Network & computer system administrators and computer engineers - all in 21-22% range. Industrial engineers 15%. I’ve heard is said that critical mass in an occupation is around one quarter to one third for any group. That’s where the impact of that “new” group is felt. Notice we’re not quite there yet.

What the Dept of Labor doesn’t tell us, but people like Betty Reynolds and Jill Tietjen in their book Setting the Record Straight and Sue Heinemann in her book Timelines of American Women’s History do tell us is that women really have been engineers all along. It’s just harder to find the documentation. According to Betty and Jill (a friend of mine and a former SWE president), a woman named Tapput-Belatekallim was a chemical engineer and perfume maker in Babalon around 1200 BCE, so probably the first one. There’s more but I’m going to jump forward many centuries to save time and get to my point.

Sue documents the following women as having US Patents:

Mary Carpenter in 1870 for a sewing machine with an easy-to-thread needle
Jane Wells, 1872 a baby jumper to allow an infante “to dance, swing and turn itself in any direction”
Amanda Theodosia Jones, poet and spiritualist, 1873 (with co-patenter) a vacuum process to can food without first cooking it
Helen August Blanchard, also 1873, sewing machine improvements which were the forerunners of the zigzag machine
Mary Nolan, 1877 interlocking bricks made of pulverized glass and clay, called Nolanum. I googled this one - impressed that she had named it after herself. It turns out it was, among other things non-absorbant, fire-proof and “vermin free”. It finished with a surface that didn’t require paint or wall paper. I thought that was cool.

So, what do you see these inventions have in common? [some discussion here]
Post Industrial women applying their creativity, their engineering problem solving skills to change the world around the for the better.

Sixty years ago, on May 27 to be precise, sixty women (and a few men allies) did the same by founding the Society of Women Engineers. They saw the need for an organization that would be a community fostering success in a male-dominated industry. They wanted a world where they could be contributing to their fullest, beyond the bounds set on those women of the 1870s. Today, the Society of Women Engineers has over twenty thousand members from around the country and the world in a constantly increasing range of fields and in the business, academic and public sectors. Those of you who were members should consider coming back. Together we in SWE - ONE stimulate women to achieve full potential in careers as engineers and leaders, TWO expand the image of the engineering profession as a positive force in improving the quality of life, and THREE demonstrate the value of diversity.   I tend to simplify this mission statement to 1. Opportunity, 2. Outreach and 3. People.

Today, we’re here for outreach and to celebrate people. In my years at SWE, I’ve met some wonderful women and yes, a few wonderful men. Santa Clara Valley, uniquely wonderful in some ways is also very typical of most SWE sections. We do Outreach with a passion. Through thick and thin, we put on events for girls and young women like Wow! That’s Engineering and our award winning, model program, GetSET.   And no matter what, we find the funds to present scholarships as we are today.   Through all of this, we are encouraging more women to make positive change in the world.

About ten years ago, my close friend, Lisa Duncan called me up one day, totally excited. "Esther, I think I’ve solved World Hunger!" I was impressed and asked how. She, like I, knew that women tend to be compassionate and as we’ve seen historically look to improve things around them. Engineers have the technical savvy to solve big systems problems.   So, Lisa believed that with enough women engineers, a solution to world hunger could be found. Not then, sadly not yet today but I keep hearing about ideas of better crops, better technology.

I want you all to take a moment. Think about the challenges that you care about - what would you like to see a force of passionate, compassionate engineers put their creativity to?   I’ll let you think. Anybody want to share? [Discussion included capping the BP oil leak, fresh water through desalinization and general cleaning up of the oceans.]
See just by doing this exercise, we can work stronger together.   And that’s another value that women bring to a team - in general, we work by sharing, our solutions are solid when we do it cross-functionally and by consensus.

OK, so we’re going to solve world hunger and fossil fuel shortages and oceanic pollution.

To do this, I want to encourage all of you to keep in front of you what you really care about. We can so easily get side-tracked by interesting things or immediate needs like paying bills or caring for family. It’s ok, we’re good multi-taskers. But remember to hold tight to your true self - the one that got you here today. That’s the one that will keep us moving forward.!   I hope you students have a fabulous summer, you SWE members can recharge yourselves, you lapsed members rejoin.   Come this fall, we will be making more change in the world!

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

Thougths on .... Baseball

2010-04-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Note to followers - I'm noticing a pattern emerging of something odd happens in my life, I mull it over and then decide to write here. Guess things were fairly manageable the last two months. eah)

My life really does seem to be on some kind of cycle. I won't go into all that now, just to mention the first two weeks of March are preoccupied with the Iditarod. It runs 24-7 and I can follow it via a website that includes videos and gps tracking on the sleds.   Then there's a lull and now, it's Baseball!

Nick and I are big baseball fans. We met in the summer of 1967 - the Red Sox Impossible Dream season. We can separately and together tell you more than you want to know about the World Series that year. The first time we watched Ken Burn's 9 part program (rumor has it he's going into extra innings - yay!), at Inning 8, John Chancellor asked, so why didn't they win? Without hesitating, we both yelled at the TV, Bob Gibson.

In 1969, we moved to northern california, four years here, four in Philly area and then back here. Still Red Sox fans.   But the Sox only come out twice a year to play the A's. Somewhere along the line, I went from hating the A's to loving them. Periodically, I get bugged for liking two American League teams. I used to have two grey cats.   I understand that black and white in photography can be beautiful; I know that the world exists in infinite tones of colors. The same holds for politics, food, religion and sports.   We have team ranking in our household.   We don't quite agree on 2 and 3, so this is my flavor:
1. Red Sox   2. Athletics 3. whoever is playing the Yankees 4. whoever is playing the Angels.
I also like the Mariners and the Phillies (Ichiro is amazing and as I said, we lived in Philly for a while.)

Borealis and Denali almost were named Scutaro (Marco) and Swisher (Nick). Both were traded from the A's before the kittens were born. Black day when Nick S ended up with the Yankees. But love the sight of Scutaro in a Red Sox.uniform.

Hopefully, people who keep harassing me (yeah, happened yesterday) about this dual allegiance will read this and stop. Yeah, I know, you never reach the people you want to reach with such messages. so it goes.

Meanwhile why baseball? Why cats? What, you say?? Seriously, in both, there are long periods of calm followed by brief moments of absolute excitement!   Never know when the snoozing cats will decide to play steeplechase over you and around the house.   Nothing like that crack of ball on bat and a home run.

The last year or so, I've become a fan of the TNT show Leverage.   It's kind of a Mission Impossible or A-Team meets Robin Hood. The fact that it's based in Boston is a side-plus. In this past season's finale, the crew needs a baseball team as part of the con. Elliot (Christian Kane, previously Lindsey on Angel, a completely different role) is the extraction expert, ie "hitter" ( the others are hacker, grifter, thief, mastermind) has to become a catcher with a AA team. He's protesting that he doesn't like any sport where you can't score on defense. And then he's in a game, and then he gets a walk-off hit. (That means, he gets a runner in to score and win the game, in the bottom of the ninth inning.)   The leader Nate (Tim Hutton) says to the rest of the crew - good news/bad news: the con is working; we've lost Elliot until the playoffs.

See, that's the allure of baseball. It happened in the season opener Red Sox/Yankees on Sunday; it happened last night A's/Mariners.    Someday, I'd love to have a baseball film festival - The Natural, A League of Their Own, Bull Durham (hmm, just got Thelma and Louise!), Field of Dreams.   Might have to throw in Remember the Titans (different sport, same heart and Denzel.)

And now I look at the time and think, if I try, I can prepare for tonight's meeting and watch the first hour of the last Red Sox - Yankees game before leaving! Go Red Sox!

                  Esther

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

"why has every well I've drilled gone dry?"

2010-02-28T14:55:00.000-08:00

I am just now home from a weekend in Stockton attending a Society of Women Engineer's conference. It's a 90-105 min drive depending on traffic. Two things happened this weekend which came together to me on the drive back.

I am fortunate in my life to have many young women who are very dear to me. I know most of them through Girl Scouts - as members of the legendary Troop 757, or as aides at Peninsula Day Camp or because I was their Gold Award adviser.   When one of them reaches out to me, I respond as fast as I can. One is currently a student at the University of California San Diego (UCSD). You may have heard that there was an incident that brought up questions of racial understanding.   My friend called because she's been in a group which has always been able to talk about things and suddenly they are polarized. She is confused and disappointed. She is wonderful and wants to deal directly with this situation. We talked a while about why people react so strongly, about race and even about gender.   She had some ideas and I made some suggestions.   I'm forcing my very tired self to write this entry for her.

Today is Purim, the Jewish Holiday that celebrates the Jews escaping a death sentence in Persia. It's one of my favorites partly because it's subtitle is the "Festival of Esther." She was a queen who saved her people and I always relate to that. But I missed our congregation's Purim Spiel because I was at the conference.   I recently learned that there is a major SWE meeting being scheduled for Sept 18. Upon hearing the date, I whipped out my calendar and found it was Yom Kippur.

At our business meeting this morning, I brought up this conflict. I found as I spoke I was getting more impassioned. I said that SWE is organization that has diversity in its mission and was quite upset by this conflict and that nobody checked or addressed it. I explained it is the holiest day of the Jewish year. The event coordinator pointed out that the weekend was chosen because of a large event that the committee felt would attract people.   There were some comments along the lines of "there are only so many weekends" and Kwanzaa was tossed out as an example. I asked would they schedule on Easter and was told that a partner organization actually had. The discussion then evolved into one about the attraction of the external event, why people attend this particular SWE event and how changes in our organizational structure had removed the primary reason that began this event.

Eventually, it was agreed to do a survey. The coordinator was most appropriately upset because all of her hard work was potentially being wasted. I tried to apologize for causing her stress. BUT, I was still upset. Not for the first time in the past year, I questioned why I give so much of my time, energy and yes money, to supporting this organization.   Don't get me wrong, I love SWE, I really love a lot of the women I know. There are many who, when they reach out, I respond rapidly. But these "small" things add up.

Driving home alone, I started analyzing my responses.   I realize I do not feel anger that they scheduled on Yom Kippur, as I would have years ago. Instead, I feel alone and marginalized. When I first learned about the conflict, I contacted a diversity advocate friend of another ethnicity and asked "are there so few Jews in SWE that we don't matter?" I was not the only Jew in the room and the other of whom I'm aware was quite supportive.   But nobody, nobody else acknowledged that this was anything except my problem.   Nobody said, "I'm sorry this situation has arisen" or "we didn't know the importance" or even "you have a point." The conversation went rather rapidly into (a more comfortable?) discussion of the value of the external attraction and the event itself. Quite frankly, I left disappointed at the lack of sensitivity - in an organization that has in its mission statement "the value of diversity."

And then, I had an "aha". This is probably what is affecting the dialogue at UCSD. Those who are the "other" are upset about an incident that showed lack of sensitivity. They are having a hard time moving on to dialogue because nobody has said (or they haven't heard) "you have a point." I gave my young friend advice that was along those lines but not quite so direct. I need to call her back.

Now, if you're still reading, you might be wondering about the title of this post. When I drive more than an hour by myself, I have certain road trip CDs that I play. One of my favorite singers, who still performs, whom I still love, is a folksinger/song writer from New England in the sixties, Tom Rush. This weekend I was playing the double CD of Merrimack County and Ladies Love Outlaws. About the point I crossed the Altamont Pass (with the HP1000 controlled windmills!) and I was torn between coming straight home and pulling over to take pictures, Tom and I started singing Guy Clark's song, Desperados Waiting for a Train.   It's an ode to a man who befriended a boy and how one grew old as the other grew up. "He's a drifter, a driller of oil wells, He's an old school man of the world" At seventy, the older man wonders, "Lord, why has every well I've drilled gone dry?" The full song reminds me of the death of my father two years ago at 90 and I tear up. But today, after this morning's meeting, at sixty-two myself, I wondered if my metaphorically drilled wells were going dry and yes, sleep deprived, disappointed and missing home, I cried.

It's a couple of hours later. I've hugged my husband and my cats and had lunch. Shortly, I'm heading out to a baby shower given by two more of those dear young women for a third of them. I realize still have some wells flowing.

   esther

© 2010 Esther A. Heller

Knowing what to do?

2010-02-14T16:17:00.000-08:00

I was going to paste this on my Facebook status but it's a little more complex than that. My husband Nick and I were just out walking off the pink sourdough chocolate chip valentine pancakes.

We met a young woman named Brenda, goes by Bree. She asked us for money to buy crayons and coloring books that she'd promised some kids. Apparently, there's a homeless shelter nearby.

The last couple of months, I've been tripping over coloring books that the Oklahoma SWE section had made as outreach activities. Years ago, my friend Cathy at the time working for HR at Oracle, had copied them for our section to use. We probably used half of them. Did I mention I've been tripping over them.

I said "I have some engineering focused coloring books." Bree got quite excited. She walked back to our house with us - yes, I know, there's a risk but she got so excited about coloring books. I did nicely ask her to wait outside since we didn't know her and she was sweet about that. We threw in a couple of boxes of crayons that Nick used to use for orienteering controls and other Girl Scout activities.

Oh, and yesterday, I'd opened the last box of Thin Mints in the freezer. We gave her the unopened slug [that's a technical term for the sealed roll] put it all in a GS tote bag. She hugged us and went off talking about how God was making this a great Valentine's day.

So, right thing? Wrong thing? Felt right to me.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Esther

Comments on Comfort Inns and Cyns

2009-12-06T23:20:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure when Nick and I first started staying at the Comfort Inns - maybe when we went to Afroz's wedding which I think was near Chicago.   Or maybe the ever resourceful Nick found them some other way.

In any case, we like them. Prices are reasonable, breakfast is included. If you have time and don't mind the calories, you can even make a Belgium waffle!   My only complaint is the "cheerios" are the kind with sugar and the bran flakes have raisins in them.   But that's minor.

In general, they have nice, comfortable, decent sized rooms. They're part of one of the frequent programs. Twice for Thanksgiving, we stayed there in Manhattan. One year, we got a free night and Nick picked the day before Thanksgiving (cause it was the most expensive.) But we came in the day before and stayed a few more days - we ended up with three reservations. Didn't think much of it until we were locked out of the room on Wed morning. Disconnect in the computer system.   Same thing happened the next day but we were expecting it.

Tangent - that was a nice time! We went for three years to see Dad, post stroke. We walked out the front door and turned left, went half way up the block and watched the upper 1/3 of the Macy's parade go by.   Then we bopped down the block the other way and got a slice of Nick's pizza [not my Nick, the pizza place Nick] which tided us over until we got to Caren's. She always has a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner but served ater than we'd like. Walking from the Comfort Inn through Central Park to her place was wonderful. The weather was gorgeous, people were friendly, fall foliage. I have pictures - on this very computer.

Now, some of you know that real estate is tight in Manhattan. Our first Comfort Inn room had the feature that you could get into the closet from the bed. You couldn't have the bathroom and closet doors open at the same time but hey - close to Central Park, decent price [tangent to tangent - one year we stayed at the Hudson, a tony place near Columbus Circle - quite the adventure for us not kids.]

What's this all got to do with the current Southern Cal trip? We stayed in the Comfort Suites in Stephenson Ranch, which we think is part of Santa Clarita. I'm quite confused about the relationship among Stephenson, Santa Clarita and Valencia.   Our Comfort Inn was listed as on The Old Road which is sort of a frontage road for "the" 5 [as they say down here.] Actually it was on Marriott Way, but I get why they wouldn't want to say so.   It's also near Pico Cyn Road. We had three days of Something Cyn Road here and there. Fortunately, Nick knew, it's shorthand for Canyon. I, of course, love saying Agua Dulce sin road.   That's the exit for Vasquez Rocks County Park.

Back to the Comfort . One goes up the elevator and comes out into a room of sorts that has the elevator, the ice machine and the vending machines.   It was bigger than that guest room in Manhattan!!!   Oh, and the vending machine had three different burritos, two types of ice cream bars and a pizza. We had both a fridge and a microwave in our suite. Gotta love So Cal!

Now we're in the Quality Inn & Suites, Anaheim. We're on a free night tonight - love those points! But two reservations again - see it all ties together. You thought I was just randomly rambling. Andre at the front desk assured us that we would not be locked out while at Disneyland.   He also said it was a 10-15 min walk to the Disneyland entrace.   Took us longer, even with all my stops. Tomorrow, we head there directly, in the rain.

More to come, including Vasquez Rocks and Feline Conservation Center. But park closes at 6pm so we have to get up and go early. Later!

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

On the Road Again

2009-12-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

Or, as they say, deja vu all over again.

This morning, after each of us took care of things that had to be done and the cats frolicked on the suitcase, Nick and I packed up the Prius (the red one this time) and headed on down Highway 101.   Unlike the October trip with Jacey, the weather was fabulous. Nick and I didn't talk as much as Jacey and I did but I only see her once a year. But his car has a six CD player and we listened to Heart, Creedence and Bob Seger.

Of course we stopped in Gilroy for the Jelly Belly factory but this time no Belly Flops were purchased.   I had remembered that I'd not packed a baseball cap, just in case there's sun. Got a funky gold and black one at the Fox outlet store for $7. I know nothing about them except they have a cool logo. I'm calling it my glitzy trucker hat. Photos will appear somewhere.

Knowing our dinner plans, Nick had packed lunch.. Nick had been that way while I was at Nikon school and knew about the Pacheco State park. We had our picnic there. We even paid the self-serve parking fee because we know how much the park system is hurting.   It was lovely, the two of us and a lot of birds. The latrines are actually quite decent and there was water to wash hands.

We're down here in Santa Clarita so Nick can enter the USOF Trail Orienteering Championships tomorrow. Sunday is a regular meet. Trail O is very cool. It's more thinking and less physical. That's because it's designed for those who cannot go off trail and there is a paralympic class. Able bodied orienteers love it because it tests their map reading skills. I've always hoped that people with mobility issues would learn about it and get more excited. When I was working with some groups with disabilities, I did try to publicize it. But, as usual, I digress. On Sunday there's a standard meet.   Then we move down to Anaheim for the obvious reason. And that and what I hope to write about tomorrow are how Nick lured me into coming along.

Vegetarians, dieters and those who are not serious carnivoires should move along to the next paragraph.   One of the great things of traveling with Nick is he finds stuff. So, he found the Wood Ranch BBQ & Grill and once we were settled in at the hotel, off we went. Yummm. We tried not to get too much food, explained to waitress Rachel that we wanted the beef ribs and the chicken and ended up splitting a combo meal. Yumm. The ribs were great, the chicken was almost as good, we ate too much and each had a glass of good wine. Nick had Jacob's Creek Shiraz from Austrailia and, of course, I had Zinfandel, Opolo Vineyards, Paso Robles.

The plan now is to go to sleep early!! Isn't that amazing? Like 11:30 so we can pop up early and get breakfast and go to Vasquez Rocks. I've got a new membory card for my camera, tested it out, battery charged and I know how to set the lighting for cloudy and how to over- or under-expose. I'm ready!!

Love,
Esther

Thoughts on ... Forty Years

2009-10-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

I know some of you are saying, which forty years? Some of you are thinking, I’m not even forty years old, I can’t relate. But some of you are doing the math and, knowing me, realize this column’s clock is starting to tick with 1969.

This summer was full of events that reminded me of 1969. My husband and I attended back-to-back college fortieth reunions at the beginning of the summer. At the end we saw Ang Lee’s film Taking Woodstock. In between, the fortieth anniversary of NASA’s lunar landing took place, as well as the passing of two men I admired, Walter Cronkite and Ted Kennedy.

Indeed, I did graduate from Brandeis University, in mathematics, forty years ago. That summer, I worked for NASA at their Electronics Research Center (ERC) in Cambridge, MA, doing computer modeling of semi-conductor diodes. Not for the last time, I had a job where I didn’t quite know what I was doing, but I had a fabulous boss who did. It was a great summer. Of course, all the programming was in Fortran and on punch cards. In my programming class, I had to punch them myself - manually, no backspacing or cursors to fix errors - you redid the whole card if you made a mistake. At ERC, there was somebody, no doubt a lowly paid woman, who typed them for you overnight. And there were technicians, all male, who ran them through the big machine. That meant that every iteration of code took a day. Imagine my joy, when many years later, I programmed on an early personal computer (neither IBM nor Microsoft) in Basic and could type code and then just run it!

My then boyfriend, now husband, and I did a lot of fun things that summer - going to the zoo and movies and Red Sox games. But you know, we didn’t go to Woodstock. I don’t even remember hearing about it until many years later. After we watched the movie, we had a good long chat about would we have gone had we known? Would we have coped with the conditions? At this point in life, it holds no appeal. But for thirty of the forty years between, we did a lot of camping, some primitive, some backpacking, with our Girl Scout troop. I think the difference in my mind is being prepared.

At the end of that summer, we headed off to be graduate students, also in math, at Stanford. Picture this if you can, two twenty-one year olds at the airport, boarding their first coast-to-coast flight, no electronics to turn on or off! The image I carry to this day is of our mothers, standing together at the gate, waving goodbye with tears in their eyes. While I completely appreciate the security we have at airports today and tolerate the inconvenience, what I totally miss is the humanity of being able to see people on and off the planes.

It was the two deaths this summer that reminded me, again, of what else we as a culture are losing. Walter Cronkite was considered the most trusted man in America. When he delivered the news, everyone believed him. He was not worried about ratings or image on the screen. He was honest and he was real and he had the time to get the full story out. Today we have news everywhere, on television, in print and on the internet. Almost everything has a spin. You know I believe in multiple perspectives but I hate having to figure out someone’s agenda before I can evaluate what’s being said.

Growing up in Massachusetts, I always knew of the Kennedy family. By the time Ted came of age, the family was one of privilege and influence. He had some rocky starts and dealt with family tragedy. I don’t know if he could have chosen a different path within that family. What I do know is he trod that path well. He understood the need for finding middle ground, for avoiding polarization. Today, politics and thus government seems to be more about fighting not the good fight but the opposition; winning has taken over from finding win-win solutions.

Both men had strength of character and the courage of their convictions. They grew up in somewhat different time from when I did and an extremely different time from where we are now. But I believe they set examples from which we can still all learn. There are times when we have to do what’s best for ourselves but there are times when we really have to look at the big picture. This is what I’ve been trying to do for the past forty years. I hope that I’ve helped you do the same through these columns. Together we can make significant, positive change over the next forty years.

First published in Connections, Oct 2009
newsletter of the Santa Clara Valley Section of the Society of Women Engineers.

Rainy Road trip

2009-10-14T09:42:00.000-07:00

(note: to my non-travel log friends, I'm now doing all my blogging, reporting, whatevering, here. This may or may not be your thing. eah)

Here I sit in the Westin Long Beach. I'm waiting for Sue, my partner-in-crime in things SWE Girl Scouts to come over so we can work on our possible Webinar. For those of my followers who don't know - a webinar is a seminar conducted by telephone and internet. Nowadays, everyone mutes their phones and so you can't see faces or now, hear chuckles at your possibly bad one-liners. It's worse than talking to yourself.

Yesterday, my friend Jacey and I drove the Prius 400 miles to Long Beach. We started out in rain which stayed with us the whole time on 101. California highways at the first rain are dreadful. The roads are slick from all the oil that's built up over the past several months. Everyone's forgotten how to drive in weather that's well, weather. The big ole trucks are kicking up lots of water. When we pulled off in Gilroy, I finally realized it wasn't pouring, it was all the kicked up water making me think that.

At Gilroy, we started cutting over to Hwy 5 which runs fast up and down the state. We stopped at the factory outlets because that's where the Jelly Belly outlet store is. Worth it because you can get any variety they make by the bag, $9/lb (much better than at, say, Diddams) AND you can buy Belly Flops. Those are the QA rejects. Taste the same, look terrible. It used to be you could buy one, get one for a nickel. Now, it's buy 3 get 2 free. Yes, we did. See, we're in Long Beach for the Society of Women Engineers conference and today, we have committee meetings. And due to cost cuttings, there's not food at meetings and sugar is always good for the sleep-deprived, right? [Hey, maybe I'll but that on my Estherisms, on my website.]

We started off an Hwy 152 and found ourselves close enough to Casa de Fruita to stop for lunch. I'm not sure what I thought it was like but it wasn't. The part we sat in was in decor more like Johnny Rocket than anything faintly spanish looking. But the Kobe beef burgers were great.

We made our way without much adventure to 5. 152 goes through some nice northern california hillsides dotted with oak trees. So it was quite pretty.

Hwy 5 started out ok - rain but reasonable, fewer truck, views of the Aquiduct. Do you know that there are only 2 or 3 things on earth visible from space? The great wall of China and the California aquiduct are two.

We drove buy a lot of signs saying "Congress created dust bowls" in areas where indeed everything was quite dried up. Not sure what produced this, need to google it some time.
My poor Prius had been getting about 44 mpg all summer, but on this trip, more like 34. So we had to fill up earlier. Part of it was the speed but more was the extra load. It's usually just me and some stuff. We had three suitcases, two carry ons, 6 lbs of Jelly Bellys/Flops and two huge boxes of supplies for Engineering Your Future, the GS Getaway.

Switched over drivers at that point. I got the rain, Jacey got the wind. There were tumbleweeds crossing the freeway. Now tell me, tumbleweeds in central California?? I've done this route before. I'm fairly certain that I've only ever seen tumbleweeds in either Texas or Wyoming. At some point we saw a small herd of donkeys. That was mildly exciting. I got some knitting done but mostly ate some of my Tutti Fruiti Jelly Bellys.

And then there was the dust. Guess the signs were right. It was bad. We missed the spot in Gorman (I'm fond of Gorman, cause my nephew's a Gorman, Hi J!) where we planned to switch off. So Jacey got to navigate the LA/Long Beach traffic while I navigated via the maps. We used the diamond (commuter, carpool) lane. We were on hwy 405 by that point. These are limited access lanes - marked by solid vs dashed lines. Much nicer than anyone can jump in or out at any point and well-marked as to upcoming exits.

After that, totally uneventful. Got settled in to our hotel and went off to register at the Society of Women Engineers (SWE) conference at Long Beach Convention center. Went off with Kimberly, for dinner at "Islands, fine burgers & drinks". I discovered that Mai Tais and Chinese Chicken salad work pretty well together. It was nice because I've been Jacey's mentor and Jacey's been Kimberly's mentor. Yes, that makes me Kimberley's grandmentor. Isn't that fun!

Today I've got meetings most of the day and it's raining. Will post when I can.

Love
Esther

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Another Interlude

2009-10-09T14:26:00.000-07:00

I keep trying to find time to post. I'm heading out next week to Long Beach for the SWE annual conference. I'm driving down with my friend Jacey who's flying in from Europe the day before.

Today, I had my purple touched up by the one and only Cambria! While I was under the heater, I had a chat with the 9year old son of another stylist. He's got the best long range plan that I've ever heard. Are you ready for this?

First, he plans to go to Stanford to major in astronautics. Then he's putting in the over one thousand hours that he calculated it takes to complete astronaut training. Then he's going to law school and then he's going to join NASA. I asked why law school? "So I can become president!" Me, "why do you want to be president?" He, "That's a good question." I hope I see him again when he comes up with the answer. [And yes Alan, his mom did take him to NASA last night.]

He also wants to learn Russian - he speaks English (quite well!), Spanish, a bit of Chinese and a bit of something else (I've forgotten what, sorry.) He needs to know Russian because their putting up a new Mir space station.

He's "taught" himself to fly via simulators and having a pilot show him all the controls. I managed to impress him by a) knowing that Space Camp is in Huntsville, Alabama and b) having flown a small plane for 10 min, long ago. [Yes, it's true - I did left right, front/back, my friend, the pilot did up/down - fun and scary. He also practiced stalling/drops. yikes!]

After he does all of the above, he plans to design a cruise ship. He already "has" his own airline "Jet Blue Legal". We had some money discussion. He had workarounds for my concerns about expenses. I suggested get an MBA into the plan. We also discussed the feasibility of a space cruise ship. I decided not to talk to him about Doctor Who.

I think this boy mostly Latino but part Chinese - based on appearance and the languages.

He was so bright, articulate, thoughtful - there is most definitely hope for our collective future.

Esther

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Rosh Hashanah Drash

2009-09-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

A drash is a commentary given during a Jewish service. It is usually a commentary on the Torah portion. In Keddem Congregation, the Erev Rosh Hashanah drash is given by the president. So it's a combination of address to the congregation and a commentary. Mine is now posted on the
Keddem website.

It's not precisely what I said because I have a tendency to amplify on the spot.

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Thoughts on ... the Firing of Volunteers

2009-09-24T10:35:00.001-07:00

I've been fired three times in my life. Two were about 30 years ago, one was this week.

Way back when I was young and didn't know as much about diverse communication styles as I do now, Nick and I ran camporees (many troops go camping together, workshops are held) in our Girl Scout service unit. After one, a staff person, wise, very wise, called me to have lunch. She told me that she hated doing this but there had been complaints that I "yelled at the girls." Well, I did loudly make some of them stop running in camp [a well established rule -no running, too dangerous]. It was a clash of my direct, high interrupt communication style with a very different style.

So, the team didn't want me in charge any more. BUT she said, we want you to stay involved because you and Nick are the only ones who "cross the freeway." The freeway is highway 101 at the bottom of San Mateo county. Most of our service unit lives on the west, primarily affluent, white side. The others lived on the east, mixed ethnicities, lower socio-economic, side. And indeed, we did go over an help the leaders there and championed them on our side.

Digression(feel free to skip) because I just remembered it. Once Nick & I collectively convinced the entire team that if they wanted to really be inclusive, they should hold Panorama (everyone share activities they've been doing) Day at the then new school in East Palo Alto. The week of the event, the newspapers blasted an article about how EPA had the highest per capita murder rate. Panic on the east side. I give major kudos to the troops leaders and parents who didn't pull out. Nick arranged for the police to drive by periodically. Everyone who attended had a fabulous time. As my sister Caren points out - 2am is the major crime time; certainly not 9-noon on a Saturday. Digression over.

My point above is, there are classy ways to remove a volunteer from a position. I was angry and hurt, but she kept me as an active volunteer.

I was laid off of my first engineering job, two weeks before I was planning to quit. That was actually quite sweet, so it doesn't count.

Now on to now. Back in 2000 I was recruited by the Society of Women Engineers (SWE) to negotiate a Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) between SWE and Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA). We knew that there were many places where SWE women were working with girls in Girl Scouting. But there was no formal relationship. In June 2001, the MoU was signed.

Then, I was tasked with making things happen. I found a great co-chair, Sue Anderson. She and I became close friends as we gathered other SWE members who were also Girl Scouts and were holding workshops and teaching girls about engineering.

The relationships built - within SWE and between the two organizations. We developed the Girl Scout Getaway, Engineering Your Future, held at SWE annual conferences. We've had over 60 girls attend through the years, learning about engineering and SWE, making friends, building self-esteem.

As time went on, I thought about successors and knew I couldn't do this forever. This week, I was asked to step aside. Well, so actually, a discussion happened. I thought I agreed to mentor new chair and co-chair with transition in about 6 months. Turns out I didn't get it, transition is happening now. When I realized this, I felt a lot of negative feelings. I felt I was misled but in retrospect, I think it was communication styles differences, that direct vs indirect styles. So then I felt stupid, because I know about these differences. But mostly, I felt hurt, angry and seriously fired. I wanted to walk away from the committee, even from SWE.

See, for me it's all about the relationships. And in Girl Scouting - where we're helping girls become leaders of courage, confidence and character, it's about relationships. But for many in SWE, it's more about being professional like in the workplace. Is it the engineering side? Is it the need to succeed in a still male-dominated field? I think that's a big part of it.

But, I'm in mourning - I've had my "baby" taken away. I built that committee on relationships, got things done on relationships. Heck, I'm now friends with the woman who makes our SWE Girl Scout event patch whom I've never met in person. True, I've been asked to stay in the group and mentor and advise. I won't share my first thoughts on that one but they weren't good. I've had a good long talk with my successor. We became friends through this committee years ago. I will make sure the transition is smooth for her sake as well as the sake of our common goal. As we say in Girl Scouting, it's about what's best for the girls.

When I was in college and things went wrong, I often said "chalk one up to experience." Four decades later, I analyze and plan and think. I draw from the experience. I learned long ago, there's a fine art to firing a volunteer.

One way step I've already used is find something else, better if possible, for the person to do. Second, do it in person; not over the phone and certainly not by email. Third, pay attention to timing. When a person is in the midst of her busiest time of year, that's not the time to insist on a hurried phone call. Finally, start and end with thanking the person for the work s/he has been doing. There's a lot to be said about saving face and acting with grace. I'll find ways to allow all involved to do the former and I'll definitely do the latter.

Shana Tova all!

Esther

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Intermission

2009-09-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

I've had some fans asking when I'll be blogging again. I have actually started a post about my experiences at the National Association of Parliamentarians convention. I hope to find some time tomorrow to finish it - I've been saying that to myself all week.

I've also just had an experience of being "fired" as a volunteer. As soon as the official announcement of the change-over happens, I'll philosophize on that as well. I haven't been on this side of that situation in over 30 years. The worst part is my paranoid imagining of conversations the firers (is that a word?) are having. More to come.

Meanwhile, Shana Tova - may you have a good year!
Esther

Indecision

2009-09-09T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'm under a deadline. I have a column due tomorrow, although I might have an extension until next Tuesday. The problem is two-fold. One, the extension is more of an excuse to futz around because I'm at a conference four of the five days. I have bunches of other things to do before the conference. Time is ticking.

The other half of the problem is I can't decide what to write on. I might revisit an old topic - there are many of them. For several years, I wrote 16 a year - that's insane and I did stop. But, what I really want to write about is things that have happened this year that are related to 40 years ago. 1969 was an amazing year.

My other problem is I don't feel like I should be putting writing energy into a blog while the column is hanging over my head along with all my presidential duties for High Holy Days. That and I'm undecided about how to use this space. On the one hand, someone I love a lot tells me that it should be a rambling of my day. On the other, I read some reviews on Amazon of the various books associated with Julie & Julia [which I continue to want to call Julia and Julie, you can see where my heart lies. Who was alive and interesting 40 years ago? huh, huh?]

The Julie & Julia book reviews had comments on Julie's blog. One stuck with me - along the lines of the reader found most blogs boring recitals of boring people's days. Ouch! The exception was blogs with themes. In my ego, I think "well, I'm not a boring person, so...." But that's why I haven't posted the last couple of days. C'mon, do you all really want to hear me ramble about my exercise class, my housekeeper, going to the post office? I thought not. And theme? My column technically has a theme, diversity but the reality is, it's whatever points I might want to make through the diversity filter. Here, I want to be even more free-f0rm.

Back to the column deadline, I'm curious if any of you, especially those under forty, like the 1969, 40 years ago, idea. Subtopics likely to include reunion experiences, Facebook, Walter Cronkite (please don't say "who?") and Ted Kennedy. I'll work in something on lessons from the past. Yes, if you're forty or over (or even 50), I like to hear your opinions too. Meanwhile, I think I'll finally eat breakfast [oh shoot, it's 11am, see my lunch date canceled cause she's sick, so no hurry here.] And I leave you with the thought that both Nick and I have had while discussion this - as the clock ticks on and the cat flops on my desk, at least he's stopped blocking the screen]. Twenty years ago, Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play......

esther

ps, It is my intention to post my columns, after they are published in Connections, the newsletter for the Santa Clara Valley Section of the Society of Women Engineers

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Introduction

2009-09-05T18:24:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my blog!

In 62 days (plus a week), I will be turning 62 years old!

I have been writing an op-ed column for two different newsletters of the Society of Women engineers for about 14 years. The column is called Thoughts on .... For example, Thoughts on ... Balance or Thoughts on ... Affirmative Action or Thoughts on ... Movies. Sometimes, I negotiate my topic with the editor if the newsletter has a theme. Sometimes, I just write about what I feel like. Always, I write through a diversity focus. Always, I tell my editor to lie to me about the deadline. Some people are prompt meeting deadlines, others are not. I consider it a diversity issue.

I have been writing a travel log for family for the past 4 years. It started when my late father had his stroke. He was in a hospital and then a nursing home for several years. I sent my messages to my sisters who could then take and read them to him. I started putting up photographs and more people got involved. Shout outs seemed quite popular.

Finally, I've been having a great time updating my status on Facebook. The format feels a bit small to me.

This week, I saw the movie Julie & Julia. I came away from it with the desire to eat good French food and the notion that I should have a blog.

All of these came together and I've started this blog, keeping the name of my column as the title. We'll see how it goes.

One of my two large cats, Denali, a medium-haired tuxedo who flops out, is now demanding some attention. His sister, Borealis, is a short thick-haired tabby. More about them and their antics another time. My husband Nick Corsano is now watching the Oakland A's game. More about baseball later as well.

For now, I'm going to take a look at the game and play with the cats. Have a good weekend!

Esther

© 2009 Esther A. Heller

Thoughts on ... Romance

2009-09-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

On Sept 4, 1971, my husband Nick and I were married at Harvard Chapel. Tonight we went to celebrate our anniversary at Bella Vista restaurant on Skyline Blvd in Woodside, California. We had a corner table, meaning windows on two sides, facing east. We watched the light and shadows and fog changed as the sun went down.

I may come back and elaborate later but for now I wanted to share the karma.

The woman (thirties maybe) at the next table and I made eye contact and smiled from time to time. They had arrived before us and were slightly ahead of us in service. While Nick & I were eating our entrees, our waiter came by. I said "are you checking up on us?" He said, "no them, he's proposing." And indeed the man had gone down on one knee and opened up a box with a, easily seen from our table, diamond ring. She clearly said yes. Smattering of applause around the room.

A man, closer to our age, from another table came over to them. He and his wife were celebrating their 20th anniversary and he had also proposed in that restaurant.

I went over to the now engaged couple and told them it was our 38th and this was all good karma and wished they were as happy as we are.

I'll be writing my introductory entry sometime in the next few days but I wanted to share this while it was fresh in my memory. On our ride home, Nick and I talked about how we had and hadn't changed over the years. We agreed at the core of ourselves we were still the same people and that's why we're still madly in love. Now, I think I'll go kiss my husband.