Yom Kippur is when we look back at our sins and deal with guilt. Actually, it's quite cool. But as a blogger, I've been feeling guilty. When I'm doing interesting things, I don't have time to blog. When I have time, I don't have much to say that I think you'll think is interesting. This year, I gave the appeal at the Keddem Congregation Kol Nidre services. Picture me in my long white, embroidered dress on stage with about 400 people seated in front of me.
Thank you Elaine. Shana Tovah. As Elaine said, I am the Immediate Past President of Keddem Congregation.
In my other role, as High Holy Days chair, I’ve been reading the reservation forms as they’ve come in and know many of you are new to Keddem Congregation, to you I say welcome. I know many of you have been with us, some many times before, at HHD: welcome back. And to the active regulars, I’ve probably hugged you on the way in, or will do so on the way out. I’m big on hugs.*
Since it’s Kol Nidre and this is a Jewish congregation, I know I can be honest. My goal is always diplomatic not blunt honesty, but let’s face it, I know that most of you know why I’m standing here. I know that appeals make some of you uncomfortable and that some of you understand why it is necessary.
When I was a child, our family’s synagogue handled this very differently. My father as “head of household” (I'm sure my mother had something to say about that!) was handed a card with his name and tabs with numbers on them. He was to indicate his commitment to the synagogue by folding down the appropriate tab. Far less disruptive to the service, but I remember how embarrassed he was about how little he could pledge. So, hold that thought while I give you some context for why I am talking to you now.
Seven years ago, at Kol Nidre, I talked about how I had, now ten years ago, decided to finally join a congregation and how I was drawn to Keddem by the values listed on the website. It is www.keddem.org, for those who have not seen it. Thanks to the work of our Long Range Planning committee and the participants at our May congregational meeting, we have revised our Vision, Mission and Values, in what I consider to be a very Reconstructionist manner - study, discussion, considering what is right for us as Jews here and now and deciding via a democratic process.
The Vision, Mission and Values define what we want to be as a community. Many of us have Hebrew names. Ours is Kehillat Keddem, Keddem Community. Community is only as strong as its members. It is built up by members trusting, and respecting one another as individuals and recognizing each other’s contributions. As a member of this community, I’ve seen us celebrate with each other and mourn with each other and very much care for each other. Because Keddem is Inclusive and Egalitarian, any one of you in this room is more than welcome to become a member. We are also Inquiring at Keddem and one of the benefits of membership is being able to ask questions about Jews, Judaism and the Jewish experience and find answers in discussions with other members. It’s what our Torah Study and Learners’ Minyan are all about.
Communities thrive when the work is shared cooperatively through teamwork. They need a diverse range of skills and yes, even opinions. We are Participatory at Keddem - we do it all for ourselves. Do you realize that our services at these High Holy Days are led by three technology professionals, a professional artist and a professional rabbi? Our song-leaders are an accountant, a program manager, and a high school student. And in case you’re curious, our chair is an engineer turned diversity consultant now studying to be a Parliamentarian (I'm a little crazy.) Our colorful wordle logo, which you can see on the screen in the lobby, was designed by one member, colorized by a second member and had the Hebrew added by a third. You get the picture. We function best when many people volunteer to help by bringing food to events, setting up or taking down, writing publicity, even editing our newsletter.
Just as importantly, we would love to see you more often than once a year! If you find yourself drawn to the liturgy or the music or the ideas, you should come to Shabbat services or festival celebrations. We’ll welcome you equally warmly and more personally. And if you have a new idea and are willing to take the lead, we’ll support you. Because we are Innovative.
Now, think back to my father awkwardly having to make a financial commitment before being able to leave services. You’ll notice that you’ve all been given generic envelopes to take home and decide later. None have names, some have numbers, we're recycling to save trees and the budget.
At Keddem Congregation, we believe strongly that money should not be a factor in being part of our community, either when joining or when attending these or other services or activities. But, the reality is we have expenses, for tonight and for the rest of the year. I love this community and I want us to be able to keep offering these services. Last year, in the spirit of Innovation, several of us challenged others to pledge one thousand dollars each, with the understanding that if we reached ten yeses, we would all make the donation. I’m pleased to say that in the end, Keddem received seventeen such donations. (smattering of applause occurred.) Hopefully, most of us can recommit at that level and that others will join us. Meanwhile, we are asking those attending for a contribution of 500 dollars per household. Since we are Compassionate, we know that many of you, like my father all those years ago, cannot stretch to that level. If your budget does not allow that much, we will gratefully and graciously accept what you are able to give.
Thank you all for what you have done in the past for Keddem and for what you will do in the future for Keddem. You are most welcome to continue to worship and build community with us here at Keddem Congregation.
I wish you a gentle fast. L’shanah tovah tichatemu. May you and yours be sealed for a good year.
* a lot of people actually did stop by for hugs on the way out, including some strangers!
The words in bold are the Keddem defining values.
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Women Engineers: Change in the World
On June 19, I was the keynote speaker for the Society of Women Engineers - Santa Clara Valley (SWE-SCV) Member Appreciation and Scholarship Banquet. It is the fourth time in 15 years that I've had that honor. Below are my (slightly editied) prepared remarks; what I actually said is (as always) quite close but more humorous. eah
Thank you Kathryn for that wonderful introduction. And thank you also for all of the work you have done organizing the scholarship process and today’s event.
Congratulations to Erin and Joy (the scholarship recipients present). You have your future ahead of you and we at SWE are thrilled to be playing a part in it. I know there are SWE sections at both Santa Clara university and MIT.
US Dept of Labor tells us that a nontraditional occupation for women is one in which women are 25 percent or less of total employment; these occupations span all major occupational areas. They tend to be well paying. Examples: architects, computer programmers, computer software and hardware engineers, detectives, chefs, barbers, clergy, engineers, computer and office machine repairers, construction occupations including inspectors, railroad conductors, truck drivers, fire fighters, aircraft pilots.
What does it all mean? Some are occupations perceived as needing more physical strength or like engineering have roots in the military; some girls don’t think of then as possibilities, most likely because they don’t see role models. On the good news front, jobs that were nontraditional for women in 1988 which were no longer nontraditional for women in 2008 include chemists; physicians; lawyers; athletes; postal service mail carriers; bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers; and butchers. That last one fascinated me.
What slightly surprised me, I rather expected (or hoped for) higher numbers, are Computer Programmers, Network & computer system administrators and computer engineers - all in 21-22% range. Industrial engineers 15%. I’ve heard is said that critical mass in an occupation is around one quarter to one third for any group. That’s where the impact of that “new” group is felt. Notice we’re not quite there yet.
What the Dept of Labor doesn’t tell us, but people like Betty Reynolds and Jill Tietjen in their book Setting the Record Straight and Sue Heinemann in her book Timelines of American Women’s History do tell us is that women really have been engineers all along. It’s just harder to find the documentation. According to Betty and Jill (a friend of mine and a former SWE president), a woman named Tapput-Belatekallim was a chemical engineer and perfume maker in Babalon around 1200 BCE, so probably the first one. There’s more but I’m going to jump forward many centuries to save time and get to my point.
Sue documents the following women as having US Patents:
Post Industrial women applying their creativity, their engineering problem solving skills to change the world around the for the better.
Sixty years ago, on May 27 to be precise, sixty women (and a few men allies) did the same by founding the Society of Women Engineers. They saw the need for an organization that would be a community fostering success in a male-dominated industry. They wanted a world where they could be contributing to their fullest, beyond the bounds set on those women of the 1870s. Today, the Society of Women Engineers has over twenty thousand members from around the country and the world in a constantly increasing range of fields and in the business, academic and public sectors. Those of you who were members should consider coming back. Together we in SWE - ONE stimulate women to achieve full potential in careers as engineers and leaders, TWO expand the image of the engineering profession as a positive force in improving the quality of life, and THREE demonstrate the value of diversity. I tend to simplify this mission statement to 1. Opportunity, 2. Outreach and 3. People.
Today, we’re here for outreach and to celebrate people. In my years at SWE, I’ve met some wonderful women and yes, a few wonderful men. Santa Clara Valley, uniquely wonderful in some ways is also very typical of most SWE sections. We do Outreach with a passion. Through thick and thin, we put on events for girls and young women like Wow! That’s Engineering and our award winning, model program, GetSET. And no matter what, we find the funds to present scholarships as we are today. Through all of this, we are encouraging more women to make positive change in the world.
About ten years ago, my close friend, Lisa Duncan called me up one day, totally excited. "Esther, I think I’ve solved World Hunger!" I was impressed and asked how. She, like I, knew that women tend to be compassionate and as we’ve seen historically look to improve things around them. Engineers have the technical savvy to solve big systems problems. So, Lisa believed that with enough women engineers, a solution to world hunger could be found. Not then, sadly not yet today but I keep hearing about ideas of better crops, better technology.
I want you all to take a moment. Think about the challenges that you care about - what would you like to see a force of passionate, compassionate engineers put their creativity to? I’ll let you think. Anybody want to share? [Discussion included capping the BP oil leak, fresh water through desalinization and general cleaning up of the oceans.]
See just by doing this exercise, we can work stronger together. And that’s another value that women bring to a team - in general, we work by sharing, our solutions are solid when we do it cross-functionally and by consensus.
OK, so we’re going to solve world hunger and fossil fuel shortages and oceanic pollution.
To do this, I want to encourage all of you to keep in front of you what you really care about. We can so easily get side-tracked by interesting things or immediate needs like paying bills or caring for family. It’s ok, we’re good multi-taskers. But remember to hold tight to your true self - the one that got you here today. That’s the one that will keep us moving forward.! I hope you students have a fabulous summer, you SWE members can recharge yourselves, you lapsed members rejoin. Come this fall, we will be making more change in the world!
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Thank you Kathryn for that wonderful introduction. And thank you also for all of the work you have done organizing the scholarship process and today’s event.
Congratulations to Erin and Joy (the scholarship recipients present). You have your future ahead of you and we at SWE are thrilled to be playing a part in it. I know there are SWE sections at both Santa Clara university and MIT.
US Dept of Labor tells us that a nontraditional occupation for women is one in which women are 25 percent or less of total employment; these occupations span all major occupational areas. They tend to be well paying. Examples: architects, computer programmers, computer software and hardware engineers, detectives, chefs, barbers, clergy, engineers, computer and office machine repairers, construction occupations including inspectors, railroad conductors, truck drivers, fire fighters, aircraft pilots.
What does it all mean? Some are occupations perceived as needing more physical strength or like engineering have roots in the military; some girls don’t think of then as possibilities, most likely because they don’t see role models. On the good news front, jobs that were nontraditional for women in 1988 which were no longer nontraditional for women in 2008 include chemists; physicians; lawyers; athletes; postal service mail carriers; bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers; and butchers. That last one fascinated me.
What slightly surprised me, I rather expected (or hoped for) higher numbers, are Computer Programmers, Network & computer system administrators and computer engineers - all in 21-22% range. Industrial engineers 15%. I’ve heard is said that critical mass in an occupation is around one quarter to one third for any group. That’s where the impact of that “new” group is felt. Notice we’re not quite there yet.
What the Dept of Labor doesn’t tell us, but people like Betty Reynolds and Jill Tietjen in their book Setting the Record Straight and Sue Heinemann in her book Timelines of American Women’s History do tell us is that women really have been engineers all along. It’s just harder to find the documentation. According to Betty and Jill (a friend of mine and a former SWE president), a woman named Tapput-Belatekallim was a chemical engineer and perfume maker in Babalon around 1200 BCE, so probably the first one. There’s more but I’m going to jump forward many centuries to save time and get to my point.
Sue documents the following women as having US Patents:
- Mary Carpenter in 1870 for a sewing machine with an easy-to-thread needle
- Jane Wells, 1872 a baby jumper to allow an infante “to dance, swing and turn itself in any direction”
- Amanda Theodosia Jones, poet and spiritualist, 1873 (with co-patenter) a vacuum process to can food without first cooking it
- Helen August Blanchard, also 1873, sewing machine improvements which were the forerunners of the zigzag machine
- Mary Nolan, 1877 interlocking bricks made of pulverized glass and clay, called Nolanum. I googled this one - impressed that she had named it after herself. It turns out it was, among other things non-absorbant, fire-proof and “vermin free”. It finished with a surface that didn’t require paint or wall paper. I thought that was cool.
Post Industrial women applying their creativity, their engineering problem solving skills to change the world around the for the better.
Sixty years ago, on May 27 to be precise, sixty women (and a few men allies) did the same by founding the Society of Women Engineers. They saw the need for an organization that would be a community fostering success in a male-dominated industry. They wanted a world where they could be contributing to their fullest, beyond the bounds set on those women of the 1870s. Today, the Society of Women Engineers has over twenty thousand members from around the country and the world in a constantly increasing range of fields and in the business, academic and public sectors. Those of you who were members should consider coming back. Together we in SWE - ONE stimulate women to achieve full potential in careers as engineers and leaders, TWO expand the image of the engineering profession as a positive force in improving the quality of life, and THREE demonstrate the value of diversity. I tend to simplify this mission statement to 1. Opportunity, 2. Outreach and 3. People.
Today, we’re here for outreach and to celebrate people. In my years at SWE, I’ve met some wonderful women and yes, a few wonderful men. Santa Clara Valley, uniquely wonderful in some ways is also very typical of most SWE sections. We do Outreach with a passion. Through thick and thin, we put on events for girls and young women like Wow! That’s Engineering and our award winning, model program, GetSET. And no matter what, we find the funds to present scholarships as we are today. Through all of this, we are encouraging more women to make positive change in the world.
About ten years ago, my close friend, Lisa Duncan called me up one day, totally excited. "Esther, I think I’ve solved World Hunger!" I was impressed and asked how. She, like I, knew that women tend to be compassionate and as we’ve seen historically look to improve things around them. Engineers have the technical savvy to solve big systems problems. So, Lisa believed that with enough women engineers, a solution to world hunger could be found. Not then, sadly not yet today but I keep hearing about ideas of better crops, better technology.
I want you all to take a moment. Think about the challenges that you care about - what would you like to see a force of passionate, compassionate engineers put their creativity to? I’ll let you think. Anybody want to share? [Discussion included capping the BP oil leak, fresh water through desalinization and general cleaning up of the oceans.]
See just by doing this exercise, we can work stronger together. And that’s another value that women bring to a team - in general, we work by sharing, our solutions are solid when we do it cross-functionally and by consensus.
OK, so we’re going to solve world hunger and fossil fuel shortages and oceanic pollution.
To do this, I want to encourage all of you to keep in front of you what you really care about. We can so easily get side-tracked by interesting things or immediate needs like paying bills or caring for family. It’s ok, we’re good multi-taskers. But remember to hold tight to your true self - the one that got you here today. That’s the one that will keep us moving forward.! I hope you students have a fabulous summer, you SWE members can recharge yourselves, you lapsed members rejoin. Come this fall, we will be making more change in the world!
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Thougths on .... Baseball
Note to followers - I'm noticing a pattern emerging of something odd happens in my life, I mull it over and then decide to write here. Guess things were fairly manageable the last two months. eah)
My life really does seem to be on some kind of cycle. I won't go into all that now, just to mention the first two weeks of March are preoccupied with the Iditarod. It runs 24-7 and I can follow it via a website that includes videos and gps tracking on the sleds. Then there's a lull and now, it's Baseball!
Nick and I are big baseball fans. We met in the summer of 1967 - the Red Sox Impossible Dream season. We can separately and together tell you more than you want to know about the World Series that year. The first time we watched Ken Burn's 9 part program (rumor has it he's going into extra innings - yay!), at Inning 8, John Chancellor asked, so why didn't they win? Without hesitating, we both yelled at the TV, Bob Gibson.
In 1969, we moved to northern california, four years here, four in Philly area and then back here. Still Red Sox fans. But the Sox only come out twice a year to play the A's. Somewhere along the line, I went from hating the A's to loving them. Periodically, I get bugged for liking two American League teams. I used to have two grey cats. I understand that black and white in photography can be beautiful; I know that the world exists in infinite tones of colors. The same holds for politics, food, religion and sports. We have team ranking in our household. We don't quite agree on 2 and 3, so this is my flavor:
1. Red Sox 2. Athletics 3. whoever is playing the Yankees 4. whoever is playing the Angels.
I also like the Mariners and the Phillies (Ichiro is amazing and as I said, we lived in Philly for a while.)
Borealis and Denali almost were named Scutaro (Marco) and Swisher (Nick). Both were traded from the A's before the kittens were born. Black day when Nick S ended up with the Yankees. But love the sight of Scutaro in a Red Sox.uniform.
Hopefully, people who keep harassing me (yeah, happened yesterday) about this dual allegiance will read this and stop. Yeah, I know, you never reach the people you want to reach with such messages. so it goes.
Meanwhile why baseball? Why cats? What, you say?? Seriously, in both, there are long periods of calm followed by brief moments of absolute excitement! Never know when the snoozing cats will decide to play steeplechase over you and around the house. Nothing like that crack of ball on bat and a home run.
The last year or so, I've become a fan of the TNT show Leverage. It's kind of a Mission Impossible or A-Team meets Robin Hood. The fact that it's based in Boston is a side-plus. In this past season's finale, the crew needs a baseball team as part of the con. Elliot (Christian Kane, previously Lindsey on Angel, a completely different role) is the extraction expert, ie "hitter" ( the others are hacker, grifter, thief, mastermind) has to become a catcher with a AA team. He's protesting that he doesn't like any sport where you can't score on defense. And then he's in a game, and then he gets a walk-off hit. (That means, he gets a runner in to score and win the game, in the bottom of the ninth inning.) The leader Nate (Tim Hutton) says to the rest of the crew - good news/bad news: the con is working; we've lost Elliot until the playoffs.
See, that's the allure of baseball. It happened in the season opener Red Sox/Yankees on Sunday; it happened last night A's/Mariners. Someday, I'd love to have a baseball film festival - The Natural, A League of Their Own, Bull Durham (hmm, just got Thelma and Louise!), Field of Dreams. Might have to throw in Remember the Titans (different sport, same heart and Denzel.)
And now I look at the time and think, if I try, I can prepare for tonight's meeting and watch the first hour of the last Red Sox - Yankees game before leaving! Go Red Sox!
Esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
My life really does seem to be on some kind of cycle. I won't go into all that now, just to mention the first two weeks of March are preoccupied with the Iditarod. It runs 24-7 and I can follow it via a website that includes videos and gps tracking on the sleds. Then there's a lull and now, it's Baseball!
Nick and I are big baseball fans. We met in the summer of 1967 - the Red Sox Impossible Dream season. We can separately and together tell you more than you want to know about the World Series that year. The first time we watched Ken Burn's 9 part program (rumor has it he's going into extra innings - yay!), at Inning 8, John Chancellor asked, so why didn't they win? Without hesitating, we both yelled at the TV, Bob Gibson.
In 1969, we moved to northern california, four years here, four in Philly area and then back here. Still Red Sox fans. But the Sox only come out twice a year to play the A's. Somewhere along the line, I went from hating the A's to loving them. Periodically, I get bugged for liking two American League teams. I used to have two grey cats. I understand that black and white in photography can be beautiful; I know that the world exists in infinite tones of colors. The same holds for politics, food, religion and sports. We have team ranking in our household. We don't quite agree on 2 and 3, so this is my flavor:
1. Red Sox 2. Athletics 3. whoever is playing the Yankees 4. whoever is playing the Angels.
I also like the Mariners and the Phillies (Ichiro is amazing and as I said, we lived in Philly for a while.)
Borealis and Denali almost were named Scutaro (Marco) and Swisher (Nick). Both were traded from the A's before the kittens were born. Black day when Nick S ended up with the Yankees. But love the sight of Scutaro in a Red Sox.uniform.
Hopefully, people who keep harassing me (yeah, happened yesterday) about this dual allegiance will read this and stop. Yeah, I know, you never reach the people you want to reach with such messages. so it goes.
Meanwhile why baseball? Why cats? What, you say?? Seriously, in both, there are long periods of calm followed by brief moments of absolute excitement! Never know when the snoozing cats will decide to play steeplechase over you and around the house. Nothing like that crack of ball on bat and a home run.
The last year or so, I've become a fan of the TNT show Leverage. It's kind of a Mission Impossible or A-Team meets Robin Hood. The fact that it's based in Boston is a side-plus. In this past season's finale, the crew needs a baseball team as part of the con. Elliot (Christian Kane, previously Lindsey on Angel, a completely different role) is the extraction expert, ie "hitter" ( the others are hacker, grifter, thief, mastermind) has to become a catcher with a AA team. He's protesting that he doesn't like any sport where you can't score on defense. And then he's in a game, and then he gets a walk-off hit. (That means, he gets a runner in to score and win the game, in the bottom of the ninth inning.) The leader Nate (Tim Hutton) says to the rest of the crew - good news/bad news: the con is working; we've lost Elliot until the playoffs.
See, that's the allure of baseball. It happened in the season opener Red Sox/Yankees on Sunday; it happened last night A's/Mariners. Someday, I'd love to have a baseball film festival - The Natural, A League of Their Own, Bull Durham (hmm, just got Thelma and Louise!), Field of Dreams. Might have to throw in Remember the Titans (different sport, same heart and Denzel.)
And now I look at the time and think, if I try, I can prepare for tonight's meeting and watch the first hour of the last Red Sox - Yankees game before leaving! Go Red Sox!
Esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Sunday, February 28, 2010
"why has every well I've drilled gone dry?"
I am just now home from a weekend in Stockton attending a Society of Women Engineer's conference. It's a 90-105 min drive depending on traffic. Two things happened this weekend which came together to me on the drive back.
I am fortunate in my life to have many young women who are very dear to me. I know most of them through Girl Scouts - as members of the legendary Troop 757, or as aides at Peninsula Day Camp or because I was their Gold Award adviser. When one of them reaches out to me, I respond as fast as I can. One is currently a student at the University of California San Diego (UCSD). You may have heard that there was an incident that brought up questions of racial understanding. My friend called because she's been in a group which has always been able to talk about things and suddenly they are polarized. She is confused and disappointed. She is wonderful and wants to deal directly with this situation. We talked a while about why people react so strongly, about race and even about gender. She had some ideas and I made some suggestions. I'm forcing my very tired self to write this entry for her.
Today is Purim, the Jewish Holiday that celebrates the Jews escaping a death sentence in Persia. It's one of my favorites partly because it's subtitle is the "Festival of Esther." She was a queen who saved her people and I always relate to that. But I missed our congregation's Purim Spiel because I was at the conference. I recently learned that there is a major SWE meeting being scheduled for Sept 18. Upon hearing the date, I whipped out my calendar and found it was Yom Kippur.
At our business meeting this morning, I brought up this conflict. I found as I spoke I was getting more impassioned. I said that SWE is organization that has diversity in its mission and was quite upset by this conflict and that nobody checked or addressed it. I explained it is the holiest day of the Jewish year. The event coordinator pointed out that the weekend was chosen because of a large event that the committee felt would attract people. There were some comments along the lines of "there are only so many weekends" and Kwanzaa was tossed out as an example. I asked would they schedule on Easter and was told that a partner organization actually had. The discussion then evolved into one about the attraction of the external event, why people attend this particular SWE event and how changes in our organizational structure had removed the primary reason that began this event.
Eventually, it was agreed to do a survey. The coordinator was most appropriately upset because all of her hard work was potentially being wasted. I tried to apologize for causing her stress. BUT, I was still upset. Not for the first time in the past year, I questioned why I give so much of my time, energy and yes money, to supporting this organization. Don't get me wrong, I love SWE, I really love a lot of the women I know. There are many who, when they reach out, I respond rapidly. But these "small" things add up.
Driving home alone, I started analyzing my responses. I realize I do not feel anger that they scheduled on Yom Kippur, as I would have years ago. Instead, I feel alone and marginalized. When I first learned about the conflict, I contacted a diversity advocate friend of another ethnicity and asked "are there so few Jews in SWE that we don't matter?" I was not the only Jew in the room and the other of whom I'm aware was quite supportive. But nobody, nobody else acknowledged that this was anything except my problem. Nobody said, "I'm sorry this situation has arisen" or "we didn't know the importance" or even "you have a point." The conversation went rather rapidly into (a more comfortable?) discussion of the value of the external attraction and the event itself. Quite frankly, I left disappointed at the lack of sensitivity - in an organization that has in its mission statement "the value of diversity."
And then, I had an "aha". This is probably what is affecting the dialogue at UCSD. Those who are the "other" are upset about an incident that showed lack of sensitivity. They are having a hard time moving on to dialogue because nobody has said (or they haven't heard) "you have a point." I gave my young friend advice that was along those lines but not quite so direct. I need to call her back.
Now, if you're still reading, you might be wondering about the title of this post. When I drive more than an hour by myself, I have certain road trip CDs that I play. One of my favorite singers, who still performs, whom I still love, is a folksinger/song writer from New England in the sixties, Tom Rush. This weekend I was playing the double CD of Merrimack County and Ladies Love Outlaws. About the point I crossed the Altamont Pass (with the HP1000 controlled windmills!) and I was torn between coming straight home and pulling over to take pictures, Tom and I started singing Guy Clark's song, Desperados Waiting for a Train. It's an ode to a man who befriended a boy and how one grew old as the other grew up. "He's a drifter, a driller of oil wells, He's an old school man of the world" At seventy, the older man wonders, "Lord, why has every well I've drilled gone dry?" The full song reminds me of the death of my father two years ago at 90 and I tear up. But today, after this morning's meeting, at sixty-two myself, I wondered if my metaphorically drilled wells were going dry and yes, sleep deprived, disappointed and missing home, I cried.
It's a couple of hours later. I've hugged my husband and my cats and had lunch. Shortly, I'm heading out to a baby shower given by two more of those dear young women for a third of them. I realize still have some wells flowing.
esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
I am fortunate in my life to have many young women who are very dear to me. I know most of them through Girl Scouts - as members of the legendary Troop 757, or as aides at Peninsula Day Camp or because I was their Gold Award adviser. When one of them reaches out to me, I respond as fast as I can. One is currently a student at the University of California San Diego (UCSD). You may have heard that there was an incident that brought up questions of racial understanding. My friend called because she's been in a group which has always been able to talk about things and suddenly they are polarized. She is confused and disappointed. She is wonderful and wants to deal directly with this situation. We talked a while about why people react so strongly, about race and even about gender. She had some ideas and I made some suggestions. I'm forcing my very tired self to write this entry for her.
Today is Purim, the Jewish Holiday that celebrates the Jews escaping a death sentence in Persia. It's one of my favorites partly because it's subtitle is the "Festival of Esther." She was a queen who saved her people and I always relate to that. But I missed our congregation's Purim Spiel because I was at the conference. I recently learned that there is a major SWE meeting being scheduled for Sept 18. Upon hearing the date, I whipped out my calendar and found it was Yom Kippur.
At our business meeting this morning, I brought up this conflict. I found as I spoke I was getting more impassioned. I said that SWE is organization that has diversity in its mission and was quite upset by this conflict and that nobody checked or addressed it. I explained it is the holiest day of the Jewish year. The event coordinator pointed out that the weekend was chosen because of a large event that the committee felt would attract people. There were some comments along the lines of "there are only so many weekends" and Kwanzaa was tossed out as an example. I asked would they schedule on Easter and was told that a partner organization actually had. The discussion then evolved into one about the attraction of the external event, why people attend this particular SWE event and how changes in our organizational structure had removed the primary reason that began this event.
Eventually, it was agreed to do a survey. The coordinator was most appropriately upset because all of her hard work was potentially being wasted. I tried to apologize for causing her stress. BUT, I was still upset. Not for the first time in the past year, I questioned why I give so much of my time, energy and yes money, to supporting this organization. Don't get me wrong, I love SWE, I really love a lot of the women I know. There are many who, when they reach out, I respond rapidly. But these "small" things add up.
Driving home alone, I started analyzing my responses. I realize I do not feel anger that they scheduled on Yom Kippur, as I would have years ago. Instead, I feel alone and marginalized. When I first learned about the conflict, I contacted a diversity advocate friend of another ethnicity and asked "are there so few Jews in SWE that we don't matter?" I was not the only Jew in the room and the other of whom I'm aware was quite supportive. But nobody, nobody else acknowledged that this was anything except my problem. Nobody said, "I'm sorry this situation has arisen" or "we didn't know the importance" or even "you have a point." The conversation went rather rapidly into (a more comfortable?) discussion of the value of the external attraction and the event itself. Quite frankly, I left disappointed at the lack of sensitivity - in an organization that has in its mission statement "the value of diversity."
And then, I had an "aha". This is probably what is affecting the dialogue at UCSD. Those who are the "other" are upset about an incident that showed lack of sensitivity. They are having a hard time moving on to dialogue because nobody has said (or they haven't heard) "you have a point." I gave my young friend advice that was along those lines but not quite so direct. I need to call her back.
Now, if you're still reading, you might be wondering about the title of this post. When I drive more than an hour by myself, I have certain road trip CDs that I play. One of my favorite singers, who still performs, whom I still love, is a folksinger/song writer from New England in the sixties, Tom Rush. This weekend I was playing the double CD of Merrimack County and Ladies Love Outlaws. About the point I crossed the Altamont Pass (with the HP1000 controlled windmills!) and I was torn between coming straight home and pulling over to take pictures, Tom and I started singing Guy Clark's song, Desperados Waiting for a Train. It's an ode to a man who befriended a boy and how one grew old as the other grew up. "He's a drifter, a driller of oil wells, He's an old school man of the world" At seventy, the older man wonders, "Lord, why has every well I've drilled gone dry?" The full song reminds me of the death of my father two years ago at 90 and I tear up. But today, after this morning's meeting, at sixty-two myself, I wondered if my metaphorically drilled wells were going dry and yes, sleep deprived, disappointed and missing home, I cried.
It's a couple of hours later. I've hugged my husband and my cats and had lunch. Shortly, I'm heading out to a baby shower given by two more of those dear young women for a third of them. I realize still have some wells flowing.
esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Knowing what to do?
I was going to paste this on my Facebook status but it's a little more complex than that. My husband Nick and I were just out walking off the pink sourdough chocolate chip valentine pancakes.
We met a young woman named Brenda, goes by Bree. She asked us for money to buy crayons and coloring books that she'd promised some kids. Apparently, there's a homeless shelter nearby.
The last couple of months, I've been tripping over coloring books that the Oklahoma SWE section had made as outreach activities. Years ago, my friend Cathy at the time working for HR at Oracle, had copied them for our section to use. We probably used half of them. Did I mention I've been tripping over them.
I said "I have some engineering focused coloring books." Bree got quite excited. She walked back to our house with us - yes, I know, there's a risk but she got so excited about coloring books. I did nicely ask her to wait outside since we didn't know her and she was sweet about that. We threw in a couple of boxes of crayons that Nick used to use for orienteering controls and other Girl Scout activities.
Oh, and yesterday, I'd opened the last box of Thin Mints in the freezer. We gave her the unopened slug [that's a technical term for the sealed roll] put it all in a GS tote bag. She hugged us and went off talking about how God was making this a great Valentine's day.
So, right thing? Wrong thing? Felt right to me.
Happy Valentine's Day!
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
We met a young woman named Brenda, goes by Bree. She asked us for money to buy crayons and coloring books that she'd promised some kids. Apparently, there's a homeless shelter nearby.
The last couple of months, I've been tripping over coloring books that the Oklahoma SWE section had made as outreach activities. Years ago, my friend Cathy at the time working for HR at Oracle, had copied them for our section to use. We probably used half of them. Did I mention I've been tripping over them.
I said "I have some engineering focused coloring books." Bree got quite excited. She walked back to our house with us - yes, I know, there's a risk but she got so excited about coloring books. I did nicely ask her to wait outside since we didn't know her and she was sweet about that. We threw in a couple of boxes of crayons that Nick used to use for orienteering controls and other Girl Scout activities.
Oh, and yesterday, I'd opened the last box of Thin Mints in the freezer. We gave her the unopened slug [that's a technical term for the sealed roll] put it all in a GS tote bag. She hugged us and went off talking about how God was making this a great Valentine's day.
So, right thing? Wrong thing? Felt right to me.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Esther
© 2010 Esther A. Heller
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Comments on Comfort Inns and Cyns
I'm not sure when Nick and I first started staying at the Comfort Inns - maybe when we went to Afroz's wedding which I think was near Chicago. Or maybe the ever resourceful Nick found them some other way.
In any case, we like them. Prices are reasonable, breakfast is included. If you have time and don't mind the calories, you can even make a Belgium waffle! My only complaint is the "cheerios" are the kind with sugar and the bran flakes have raisins in them. But that's minor.
In general, they have nice, comfortable, decent sized rooms. They're part of one of the frequent programs. Twice for Thanksgiving, we stayed there in Manhattan. One year, we got a free night and Nick picked the day before Thanksgiving (cause it was the most expensive.) But we came in the day before and stayed a few more days - we ended up with three reservations. Didn't think much of it until we were locked out of the room on Wed morning. Disconnect in the computer system. Same thing happened the next day but we were expecting it.
Tangent - that was a nice time! We went for three years to see Dad, post stroke. We walked out the front door and turned left, went half way up the block and watched the upper 1/3 of the Macy's parade go by. Then we bopped down the block the other way and got a slice of Nick's pizza [not my Nick, the pizza place Nick] which tided us over until we got to Caren's. She always has a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner but served ater than we'd like. Walking from the Comfort Inn through Central Park to her place was wonderful. The weather was gorgeous, people were friendly, fall foliage. I have pictures - on this very computer.
Now, some of you know that real estate is tight in Manhattan. Our first Comfort Inn room had the feature that you could get into the closet from the bed. You couldn't have the bathroom and closet doors open at the same time but hey - close to Central Park, decent price [tangent to tangent - one year we stayed at the Hudson, a tony place near Columbus Circle - quite the adventure for us not kids.]
What's this all got to do with the current Southern Cal trip? We stayed in the Comfort Suites in Stephenson Ranch, which we think is part of Santa Clarita. I'm quite confused about the relationship among Stephenson, Santa Clarita and Valencia. Our Comfort Inn was listed as on The Old Road which is sort of a frontage road for "the" 5 [as they say down here.] Actually it was on Marriott Way, but I get why they wouldn't want to say so. It's also near Pico Cyn Road. We had three days of Something Cyn Road here and there. Fortunately, Nick knew, it's shorthand for Canyon. I, of course, love saying Agua Dulce sin road. That's the exit for Vasquez Rocks County Park.
Back to the Comfort . One goes up the elevator and comes out into a room of sorts that has the elevator, the ice machine and the vending machines. It was bigger than that guest room in Manhattan!!! Oh, and the vending machine had three different burritos, two types of ice cream bars and a pizza. We had both a fridge and a microwave in our suite. Gotta love So Cal!
Now we're in the Quality Inn & Suites, Anaheim. We're on a free night tonight - love those points! But two reservations again - see it all ties together. You thought I was just randomly rambling. Andre at the front desk assured us that we would not be locked out while at Disneyland. He also said it was a 10-15 min walk to the Disneyland entrace. Took us longer, even with all my stops. Tomorrow, we head there directly, in the rain.
More to come, including Vasquez Rocks and Feline Conservation Center. But park closes at 6pm so we have to get up and go early. Later!
© 2009 Esther A. Heller
In any case, we like them. Prices are reasonable, breakfast is included. If you have time and don't mind the calories, you can even make a Belgium waffle! My only complaint is the "cheerios" are the kind with sugar and the bran flakes have raisins in them. But that's minor.
In general, they have nice, comfortable, decent sized rooms. They're part of one of the frequent programs. Twice for Thanksgiving, we stayed there in Manhattan. One year, we got a free night and Nick picked the day before Thanksgiving (cause it was the most expensive.) But we came in the day before and stayed a few more days - we ended up with three reservations. Didn't think much of it until we were locked out of the room on Wed morning. Disconnect in the computer system. Same thing happened the next day but we were expecting it.
Tangent - that was a nice time! We went for three years to see Dad, post stroke. We walked out the front door and turned left, went half way up the block and watched the upper 1/3 of the Macy's parade go by. Then we bopped down the block the other way and got a slice of Nick's pizza [not my Nick, the pizza place Nick] which tided us over until we got to Caren's. She always has a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner but served ater than we'd like. Walking from the Comfort Inn through Central Park to her place was wonderful. The weather was gorgeous, people were friendly, fall foliage. I have pictures - on this very computer.
Now, some of you know that real estate is tight in Manhattan. Our first Comfort Inn room had the feature that you could get into the closet from the bed. You couldn't have the bathroom and closet doors open at the same time but hey - close to Central Park, decent price [tangent to tangent - one year we stayed at the Hudson, a tony place near Columbus Circle - quite the adventure for us not kids.]
What's this all got to do with the current Southern Cal trip? We stayed in the Comfort Suites in Stephenson Ranch, which we think is part of Santa Clarita. I'm quite confused about the relationship among Stephenson, Santa Clarita and Valencia. Our Comfort Inn was listed as on The Old Road which is sort of a frontage road for "the" 5 [as they say down here.] Actually it was on Marriott Way, but I get why they wouldn't want to say so. It's also near Pico Cyn Road. We had three days of Something Cyn Road here and there. Fortunately, Nick knew, it's shorthand for Canyon. I, of course, love saying Agua Dulce sin road. That's the exit for Vasquez Rocks County Park.
Back to the Comfort . One goes up the elevator and comes out into a room of sorts that has the elevator, the ice machine and the vending machines. It was bigger than that guest room in Manhattan!!! Oh, and the vending machine had three different burritos, two types of ice cream bars and a pizza. We had both a fridge and a microwave in our suite. Gotta love So Cal!
Now we're in the Quality Inn & Suites, Anaheim. We're on a free night tonight - love those points! But two reservations again - see it all ties together. You thought I was just randomly rambling. Andre at the front desk assured us that we would not be locked out while at Disneyland. He also said it was a 10-15 min walk to the Disneyland entrace. Took us longer, even with all my stops. Tomorrow, we head there directly, in the rain.
More to come, including Vasquez Rocks and Feline Conservation Center. But park closes at 6pm so we have to get up and go early. Later!
© 2009 Esther A. Heller
Friday, December 4, 2009
On the Road Again
Or, as they say, deja vu all over again.
This morning, after each of us took care of things that had to be done and the cats frolicked on the suitcase, Nick and I packed up the Prius (the red one this time) and headed on down Highway 101. Unlike the October trip with Jacey, the weather was fabulous. Nick and I didn't talk as much as Jacey and I did but I only see her once a year. But his car has a six CD player and we listened to Heart, Creedence and Bob Seger.
Of course we stopped in Gilroy for the Jelly Belly factory but this time no Belly Flops were purchased. I had remembered that I'd not packed a baseball cap, just in case there's sun. Got a funky gold and black one at the Fox outlet store for $7. I know nothing about them except they have a cool logo. I'm calling it my glitzy trucker hat. Photos will appear somewhere.
Knowing our dinner plans, Nick had packed lunch.. Nick had been that way while I was at Nikon school and knew about the Pacheco State park. We had our picnic there. We even paid the self-serve parking fee because we know how much the park system is hurting. It was lovely, the two of us and a lot of birds. The latrines are actually quite decent and there was water to wash hands.
We're down here in Santa Clarita so Nick can enter the USOF Trail Orienteering Championships tomorrow. Sunday is a regular meet. Trail O is very cool. It's more thinking and less physical. That's because it's designed for those who cannot go off trail and there is a paralympic class. Able bodied orienteers love it because it tests their map reading skills. I've always hoped that people with mobility issues would learn about it and get more excited. When I was working with some groups with disabilities, I did try to publicize it. But, as usual, I digress. On Sunday there's a standard meet. Then we move down to Anaheim for the obvious reason. And that and what I hope to write about tomorrow are how Nick lured me into coming along.
Vegetarians, dieters and those who are not serious carnivoires should move along to the next paragraph. One of the great things of traveling with Nick is he finds stuff. So, he found the Wood Ranch BBQ & Grill and once we were settled in at the hotel, off we went. Yummm. We tried not to get too much food, explained to waitress Rachel that we wanted the beef ribs and the chicken and ended up splitting a combo meal. Yumm. The ribs were great, the chicken was almost as good, we ate too much and each had a glass of good wine. Nick had Jacob's Creek Shiraz from Austrailia and, of course, I had Zinfandel, Opolo Vineyards, Paso Robles.
The plan now is to go to sleep early!! Isn't that amazing? Like 11:30 so we can pop up early and get breakfast and go to Vasquez Rocks. I've got a new membory card for my camera, tested it out, battery charged and I know how to set the lighting for cloudy and how to over- or under-expose. I'm ready!!
© 2009 Esther A. Heller
This morning, after each of us took care of things that had to be done and the cats frolicked on the suitcase, Nick and I packed up the Prius (the red one this time) and headed on down Highway 101. Unlike the October trip with Jacey, the weather was fabulous. Nick and I didn't talk as much as Jacey and I did but I only see her once a year. But his car has a six CD player and we listened to Heart, Creedence and Bob Seger.
Of course we stopped in Gilroy for the Jelly Belly factory but this time no Belly Flops were purchased. I had remembered that I'd not packed a baseball cap, just in case there's sun. Got a funky gold and black one at the Fox outlet store for $7. I know nothing about them except they have a cool logo. I'm calling it my glitzy trucker hat. Photos will appear somewhere.
Knowing our dinner plans, Nick had packed lunch.. Nick had been that way while I was at Nikon school and knew about the Pacheco State park. We had our picnic there. We even paid the self-serve parking fee because we know how much the park system is hurting. It was lovely, the two of us and a lot of birds. The latrines are actually quite decent and there was water to wash hands.
We're down here in Santa Clarita so Nick can enter the USOF Trail Orienteering Championships tomorrow. Sunday is a regular meet. Trail O is very cool. It's more thinking and less physical. That's because it's designed for those who cannot go off trail and there is a paralympic class. Able bodied orienteers love it because it tests their map reading skills. I've always hoped that people with mobility issues would learn about it and get more excited. When I was working with some groups with disabilities, I did try to publicize it. But, as usual, I digress. On Sunday there's a standard meet. Then we move down to Anaheim for the obvious reason. And that and what I hope to write about tomorrow are how Nick lured me into coming along.
Vegetarians, dieters and those who are not serious carnivoires should move along to the next paragraph. One of the great things of traveling with Nick is he finds stuff. So, he found the Wood Ranch BBQ & Grill and once we were settled in at the hotel, off we went. Yummm. We tried not to get too much food, explained to waitress Rachel that we wanted the beef ribs and the chicken and ended up splitting a combo meal. Yumm. The ribs were great, the chicken was almost as good, we ate too much and each had a glass of good wine. Nick had Jacob's Creek Shiraz from Austrailia and, of course, I had Zinfandel, Opolo Vineyards, Paso Robles.
The plan now is to go to sleep early!! Isn't that amazing? Like 11:30 so we can pop up early and get breakfast and go to Vasquez Rocks. I've got a new membory card for my camera, tested it out, battery charged and I know how to set the lighting for cloudy and how to over- or under-expose. I'm ready!!
Love,
Esther
Esther
© 2009 Esther A. Heller
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